Erykah Badu is one of the most underrated and intelligent artists that I’ve ever listened to. She’s always bringing something new to music whether you like it or not. She wants to be free to do as she pleases. All artists should wish to be that free in their creativity.
Recently I caught an interview that she did for The Telegraph, A UK based online newspaper, in which she talks partly about men and relationships.
One piece of the interview that took me by surprise was this:
With all those rap-star lovers, is it infidelity that has caused her heartaches? “No. Infidelity is not a deal-breaker for me. We’re all born sexual beings. I myself am not someone with a very high libido. I don’t require sex for happiness – I need companionship. I need a partner I can depend on, that I can love and grow with. But I do understand the nature of these men I’ve been with, and men in general. They have a need to chase.”
“We talk a lot about things that men want. Because I want them to be happy and the more I see how the male of the species behaves, the more I understand, and the less I blame him. It’s just who he is. Is there a solution?” She smiles for the first time in 45 minutes. “Honesty is it. It will get you everywhere. Mind you, I have friends who are in polygamous relationships - they’re no more happy or sad than we are. But at least the bitches know what’s comin’ next!”
As someone who writes about Entertainment, it’s very tempting to put your two cents in on some “What The Hell Are You Thinking?” mess. I’m not gonna respond like that. What am I going to say is very simple to Erykah is very simple:
Do not all.
There are good men out here. It’s looks like a fantasy to think that way given that people break up as fast as they get together these days. It is however not an impossible reality. It is, truthfully speaking, a matter of what you want and seeing what you want in the other person.
This is harder to put into action for some, especially when it appears that so many men and women fall short of the good they initially portray in the beginning of a relationship.
I can certainly say that I have felt like you a lot in my life. I felt and still feel in some way that a relationship is beyond my reach. I feel sometimes that I am not perfect enough physically, secure enough financially or smart enough intellectually for a relationship. After you beat yourself up for a minute or longer, you realize that you have to lick your wounds and move on.
If a man is going to cheat on his woman because he wants to be free, let him practice his madness without you. These men busted their balls to come into your life and it’s not right for them to take into their Leisure Suit Larry lifestyle.
If they want a relationship and want to be with you, they have to understand that being with one person in the name of love means just that. If they see it as being a slave, of being too co-dependent, then they need not ever attempt a monogamous relationship.
I want you to be happy with someone. You deserve that. You should search for a man who believes in staying with you; not you and a busload of other women. I am a good man, just as you are a good woman.
Perhaps when we both see that and go for what we want, we will find the companions we seek.