TO: Islamic State of Iraq and Syria - ISIS
FROM: Al Qaeda home office
SUBJECT: Franchise termination
Gentlemen, it is with great regret that I inform you that your franchise agreement with us is terminated. You will no longer be be allowed to associate yourselves with the global Al Qaeda brand.
It has come to our attention that after multiple warnings to you about who is in charge in the Syrian conflict, as well as repeated requests for you to leave, you have clearly ignored not only our directive but, you flaunted the chain of command AND actually fought with your fellow jihadists.
This is unacceptable.
As you know, the global Al-Qaeda brand has been carefully developed and nurtured over a number of years and this infighting among franchises is deleterious to optimizing our brand identity globally.
Therefore, as of sunset on the 4th of Rabi' al-Thaany, 1435 A.H. (that's today) you are to cease any and all affiliation with the global Al-Qaeda brand.
Also, please return to the home office all flags, t-shirts, stationary, coffee mugs, calendars, baseball hats, ammunition, grenade launchers, Kalashnikovs, whips etc.
If you feel that this franchise termination order is without merit, you will be allowed to petition the home office/franchise committee for an arbitration hearing at which time you can state your case.