If you've watched the first episode of BRAVO's "Real Housewives of Atlanta," you'll either wonder is this "good" television (like "You're not the father" Maury Povich or I-can-only-fight-with-my-bra-exposed Jerry Springer, or is this the real life of grown women who never learned how to buy class while they were shopping for shoes. The Monday night episode confirmed that Lisa Wu Hartwell, the only woman who seemed to actually have any class (minus Kandi Burruss), has left the show. While there are definitely some strong opinions on Lisa leaving and Kandi's new bright red, bird-shaped hairstyle, those two seem to be the only two women who feel like it's not okay to shift wigs, puff your lips out and yell in people's faces, scream at parties, gossip nonstop, chase after the next big act or constantly betray everyone.
On the Oct. 4 show, NeNe Leakes was in rare form again, shouting at cast member and onetime friend Dwight about rumors that he blabbed about NeNe's husband allegedly owing him $10,000. NeNe's husband stated it was actually $500. Either way, Dwight had some money that needed to be coming his way, and whether he should have talked about loaning money publicly with outside folks is a matter of opinion. However, instead of NeNe quietly having a conversation with Dwight about the rumors to hear his side, in the same manner that she did with her husband, she decided to have a shouting match with him at the party.
Responsible parents teach their children not to bully other kids, not to cause embarrassing scenes in public and what's the difference between an inside voice and an outside voice. I don't know what went wrong with NeNe, but she's behaving like a child on the show. She's also a mother, which means her child will see her act this way and think it's perfectly okay. That, or he'll run screaming to women who are nothing like her.
In a previous entry, "Stop yelling at me, the unresolved arguments in a relationship," there's a breakdown of how to have a conversation about a disagreement. Yelling is at the top of the list of things not to do. Here's why:
Tip One: If your voice is elevated, the person you're speaking to will spend more time focusing on you bringing your volume down instead of what you're saying.
Tip Two: If you're wagging your fingers, pointing fingers or within kissing distance from the person you're yelling at, that's another distraction. Personal space is important. If you're in attack mode and violating someone's personal space, don't be surprised when that person feels the need to defend him or herself.
Tip Three: Consider the people around you. While it's not clear if everyone at the Atlanta party knew about Dwight's loan to NeNe's family, NeNe did everything but post it in the newspaper for everyone to gossip about. What could've been private and maybe a little embarrassing became local (and now national) news for the people Dwight didn't tell. Unless this was solely for television, there's no reason in the world that people in Chicago should know Dwight gave a loan to Gregg Leakes.
Tip Four: Decide who your friends are. In NeNe's blog, she states, "I love how these girls cut and stab each other then do the whole pretend friend thing." This is the same woman who got into countless fights and arguments with one-hit wonder Kim Zolciak but then tricked out the house because Kim is a "star," according to NeNe. Why would you suddenly trust someone's comment who you'd been feuding with for years just because she's "fun"? Avoid he-said-she-said rumors and talk to the person who allegedly made the comment.
Tip Five: Resolve the matter without sending out a street team. Whether you're in Atlanta or Chicago, you don't have to tell everybody from Rogers Park to the Wild 100s or Conyers to Buckhead about what you're going to do at somebody's party or how you're going to curse somebody out. You don't have to be Laila Ali or promote a boxing match. It's okay to not let everybody know your exact moves before you get there, otherwise you come off as the "media whore" that Kim Zolciak is accused of being.
Tip Six: Take a tip from cast members like Lisa Wu Hartwell who would rather keep things peaceful than keep them drama filled. Reality TV does not have to equal nonstop drama to be interesting. When the camera power button is off, in real life, the dramatic person has to do with everyday consequences. On TV shows like "90210," it's enjoyable because these aren't real characters. In real life, it's pitiful to watch grown-ups act like they're in a scene from high school.
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