RAD or Reactive Attachment Disorder is fairly common among the adoption community. While considered "rare" because the criteria to be considered RAD is very specific, it is the inability to attach to others usually due to trauma. On Wednesday, Huffington Post shares a sad story of a father that had to give up custody of his adopted daughter because of RAD.
Eric Kinzel adopted his daughter and her biological brother when she was just four-years old. Alani and her brother Julius were completely neglected by their mother. Nancy Thomas, a therapeutic parenting specialist says this is often the case in children with RAD. These children aren't used to being loved and so they would rather kill everyone, especially, the mother, because love hurts and they are afraid of being hurt again.
Kinzel says that he had to install a security system for his daughter's room when he found a family portrait with everyone's eyes gouged out with a knife but Alani's. Even at a young age, Kinzel says he was astounded by the level of manipulation she was capable of and how she was easily able to play family members against each other.
After exhausting every option available to the Kinzel family, they finally had to put Alani in respite care. The reaction they received was not what was expected as she was elated to be getting a new mother and father. She even told her brother, who cared for her since her birth, that he wasn't her brother any longer. After spending time in respite, a worker there called and told the Kinzel family that they wouldn't be safe with her living in the home. She needed to be an only child.
Sadly, this isn't anything uncommon in the adoption community. RAD is very prevalent in children adopted within the United States, and often more prevalent when adoption happens from orphanages outside of the US. In some extreme cases, parents that give up custody of their adopted children because of these severe psychological problems can be charged criminally for doing so, regardless of why it happens. Often times, years of therapy and medication are the only things that work in helping these children, and sometimes, it isn't effective.