Adopting a child can be a wonderfully enriching experience but the actual process – the endless paperwork, understanding the ever-changing state laws -- can be daunting. Not to mention, that today people have so many different options when considering adoption – domestic, open, international, foster…
Here’s the thing, despite the fact that adopting can be overwhelming, the US Department of Health and Human Services, www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/statistics/adoption.cfm, (HHS) reported that most adoptive parents had a relatively positive experience and were willing to go through the process again. That same report found that adoptive children appear to have a more positive childhood experience than those in the general population.
So, how can one ensure that they too might have a fairly positive adoption experience? There are no guarantees, but before beginning, there are three fundamental questions people should explore:
1. Why do I want to adopt? This is the same question any parent-to-be must ask. But with adoption, you need to also ask, is the fact that the child is not biologically mine really okay with me? Mostly it is not the adoptive parents who have this concern-- but rather the family members of adoptive parents. In most cases, these worries fall away as soon as the child comes into everyone’s lives and brings joy and love.
2. Domestic or International adoption? According to the HHS adoption study mentioned above, international adoption accounts for 25% of all adoptions in the US and it’s gaining in popularity. But before you update your passport, do the research. The international process can be long and expensive. Most countries demand that you visit at least twice and many stipulate that you cannot bring a child out of the country until they are at least two years old. For Seattle residents, a good place to learn more about international adoption is The World Association for Children and Parents www.wacap.org.
Domestic adoption is the most popular. Parents adopt a US-born child either through an agency, independently, or through foster care. For more information, on using an agency as well as training to be a foster parent, Amara in Seattle offers free workshops on its programs. www.amaraparenting.org.
When considering a domestic adoption, you’ll need to decide whether you want the adoption to be open or closed.
Open means you have a relationship with the birth parents – but the extent of that relationship will depend on the parties involved. Seattle and Portland based Open Adoptions and Family Services Inc. is a good resource to learn more about open adoptions: www.openadopt.org.
3. What age do I want my child to be when I adopt? Do you want a newborn infant? How about an older child? If you are open to adopting an older child then it’s important to be educated on what that means for both the child and you. Check out www.theadoptionguide.com for more information or www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/adoptive/.
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