Adjusting our summer schedule is a brutal thing indeed

Throw us a party every day.

My children have been out of school for approximately one week and it’s already sending all of us into a tailspin. To my son, it doesn’t make much of a difference; he’s a little confused as to why exactly he doesn’t go to preschool, but since he only goes three times a week, the change is not that earth shattering. Also, he is a great child to have around while I’m working; a believer in the “amuse yourself and don’t bother your mom too much” adage, and usually willing to do whatever I say. Plus, like me, he prefers that other people leave him alone.

My daughter has entirely different expectations. She wants snacks, she wants the Television turned on, preferably to a channel I can’t find, and she wants me to teach her things. She wants me to take her places: the pool, the playground, Target, Disneyland. She like me to fly her to Paris, Amsterdam, and “why can’t we go to Italy”? She wants me to read to her, sing with her, and show her how to play with marbles, provide her with endless art supplies and give her cooking lessons. And that’s just this morning; what are we doing this afternoon?

In other words: she wants to be entertained. I am not cooperating with those expectations. A Good Parent would be able to explain to her the necessity of learning to amuse yourself from time to time, or fill her summer schedule to the last minute with unspecified ‘fun stuff’. I am doing neither, and that makes me a Bad Parent.

On top of that, my son starts thinking –by day seven- that having his sister around full-time is maybe cramping his style a little. So they start to bicker, first a little, then a lot: I have to ask myself what it is I am doing wrong. Whoever thought it was a good idea to send kids home for three months during the summer anyway? And why is summer camp so bloody expensive? And why did I miss the deadline for summer scholarships? And so on and so forth; by now, it is 12:26 pm, and I haven’t exactly had a productive day myself. It seems that we just can’t get used to being around each other all the time; we all suffer from lack of structure, we get on each other’s nerves, and what does that say about us as a family? Can’t we all just get along?

Then it dawns on me: it is exactly that lack of structure that is doing us in. My daughter doesn’t know what to expect, and so she asks for unrealistic things, all the time. If you don’t know what’s going to happen, anything is possible, right? So why don’t I give her some answers ahead of time, so she knows what is and what is not in the planning? Surely there is a compromise somewhere between leaving my children to utter boredom, and turning myself into a full-fledged camp counselor?

I sit down with Isabella and together we compile a list of things she likes to do. Realistic things, things that don’t take all day, things that are affordable on our microscopic budget. “So Disneyland is out?” she wants to know. Yes, Disneyland is out. But there are plenty of options closer to home; I agree to let her pick one activity per day, she agrees to let me work when I have to. I add up the days on the calendar; minus some previous engagements, we only have to think of 59 child friendly activities.

Piece of cake.

For more info on how to keep your sanity during these long summer months, check out associated content, my online wellness, or Shine