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Actual Headline: Republicans block child nutrition bill

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Actual story.

WASHINGTON – House Republicans have temporarily blocked legislation to feed school meals to thousands more hungry children. Republicans used a procedural maneuver Wednesday to try to amend the $4.5 billion bill, which would give more needy children the opportunity to eat free lunches at school and make those lunches healthier. First lady Michelle Obama has lobbied for the bill as part of her “Let’s Move” campaign to combat childhood obesity.

Well, this will surely stick it to that First Lady, oh yeah. Good jorb, guys, way to put her back in her place.

Oh, what’s that? What else..

The House failed to pass an extension unemployment insurance benefits for another three months Thursday afternoon. The vote was 258 to 154, short of the two-thirds needed for passage.

Republicans have sought to block the extension of benefits before, arguing that the spending should be offset by savings elsewhere.

Aaah, gotcha.

Savings elsewhere, that makes sense, got to keep a tight belt, and where are you getting those saving and why are you blocking all of this stuff?

On Tuesday, President Obama said a bunch of high-minded things about a new era of bipartisan cooperation between Republicans and Democrats. On Wednesday, all 42 Republican senators signed a letter declaring that they would block Congress from any action at all until tax cuts for the wealthy have been safely extended.

Aaah, I see, you’re blocking this so you can cut the taxes on the wealthiest 1% of the country by $700,000,000,000 which would save the country -$700,000,000,000 and thus pay for everything else and create, like, millions and billions of jobs thus ending the need to help pay for poor kids lunches and unemployment benefits (because that’s what the wealthy people will do with their extra money, spend it by hiring lots of people, regardless of demand, ensuring their wealth for generations.).

Funny, one little negative sign and some sarcasm and now it almost looks like it makes a lick a sense.

I finally get bizarro logic and voodoo economics. Can’t believe it took me this long.

Just a story about cutting off funding for food for children to pay for tax cuts for the richest and I…finally…get…

****BLEEEEAAAARGH*******

Sorry, just puked. That doesn’t happen very often when I’m typing. I should rest now.

UPDATE: Whew, I feel better now. I think it was something I ate. Yup. Definitely something I ate.

Senate Republicans have made a name for themselves by finding ways to block Democratic legislation. Even when Democrats controlled a big enough majority to muster the 60 votes needed to overcome filibusters, the Republican leader, Mitch McConnell often found creative ways to slow down the legislative process, delaying the inevitable as long as possible.

But with a little bit of luck, Mr. McConnell this week may yet pull off his greatest blocking effort yet – by stopping a major food safety bill that has already been approved.

The Senate adopted the food safety measure on Tuesday by a vote of 73 to 25 with 15 Republicans joining in support. (The bill would strengthen the Food and Drug Administration, and is intended to help prevent unsafe foods from reaching grocery stores and restaurants.)

But because of an arcane parliamentary mistake, the bill must be sent to the House of Representatives, which must approve it and return it to the Senate to be approved one more time. Only then, can the measure be sent to President Obama.

A spokesman for Mr. McConnell said that Mr. Reid would likely have no trouble getting the measure approved again once the tax cut debate is settled and Congress has approved a spending measure to keep the government functioning. Until then, however, Republicans will block the bill along with everything else Mr. Reid is hoping to accomplish.

So they have to waste a week to get it done, instead of a few minutes.

At least that will give me time to get over this imaginary food poisoning I have, and plus, my body will be stronger for the next time it happens, which now will be sooner, rather than later.

There is a silver lining here, while the Republicans are holding up feeding kids to pad trust funds, they are also holding up inspecting that food to pay back the “anonymous” billionaires that funded so many of their campaigns, thus ensuring that the tainted food will never get to the children.

It’s dabolical genius, in a way

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