Well, it’s that time of year again. Men have hunkered down into their man caves, dens and living rooms in preparation for the upcoming football season. It’s a glorious time for any man that loves the game. Conversely, if you listen closely, you can hear voices of disgust and exasperation all across the country from girlfriends, fiancée’s and wives that detest that first weekend in September.
While it may seem strange that this piece would show up in a relationship column, this time of year has in fact put a strain on many a relationship. Women have been made to feel neglected during this time of year, and thus the term “football widow” was born. While there’s more than a fair share of women that love the sport just as men do (God bless you all!), for the most part, women hate losing the attention of their man for 5 months so that he can watch other men play a sport. But there is a solution to this “problem”.
Here are a few suggestions to help the ladies cope with the upcoming months of the pro and college football seasons. Though not a complete list, these 5 things ought to help ease some of the tension caused in relationships by the sport. Here’s to a great (and peaceful) football season!
1. Let him watch the game – One of the biggest misconceptions women have is that it's difficult to please men. The truth is men are so visual, that it’s actually easier than it seems. Wear clothes that appeal to them (at the appropriate times), feed them good food and let them watch sports, if that’s what they’re into. Women can't say on one hand that they want to keep their man happy while trying to deny him something that does just that. Just as women try and convince men that “it’s just a game” and it’s no big deal, they need to adhere to their own logic. It’s just a game. It’s no big deal. And there’s no reason to get upset about it. Let the little boy have his candy.
Relationship benefit: Unless his team loses, he’s gonna be in a great mood! In the event that they do lose, the women get to play their natural role of consoler and healer.
2. Learn the game – Women are better at learning and adapting to new things than men, so it stands to reason that learning to embrace football may be in their best interest. Too much time is spent trying to compete with men's passion for the sport while the big picture goes unnoticed: Spending time together. I’ve yet to meet a woman that didn’t come to love football once they were able to follow it. This isn’t an excuse to crash boy’s night, but during those times when it’s just the two of you, it’s the perfect time to spend quality time, even in the midst of his yelling at the TV.
Relationship benefit: Bonding. The importance of this can’t be overstated in a relationship, no matter what the source of the bonding is. The more a couple can do together without force, the healthier the relationship.
3. Don't use sex as a distraction – This may be the oldest and most pointless trick in the book. It always causes more problems than it solves. The woman puts on the lingerie in an effort to make the man "choose" what's more important. Well, if it’s a big enough game, he'll choose that. Why? Because this moment in this game is only gonna happen once. But even if a woman is upset and withholds sex, unless the sex in the relationship is horrible, eventually she'll come around again and a wise man already knows this. Just because he chose that 3rd and 6 over you in this moment doesn't mean he's chosen football over you. He simply used perspective.
Relationship benefit: Sex stays in its proper place. It should never be used as a carrot before a horse, unless you’re withholding it for marriage. Once one partner begins to manipulate the times and conditions for sex, it’s just a matter of time before the other does so out of spite. And that’s unhealthy.
4. Bond with your friends – Summer is over and chances are there was a lot of time spent doing family things. Now's a good time to catch up with friends you may have missed over the past 3 months. It’s understood that some women will never be able to sit down and actually care about football. Those women can get together, have dinner, go shopping or even be some sort of support for one another. It gives the women something to do and helps to kill some time until the game is over. That sounds dismissive, but it does work.
Relationship benefit: Absence still makes the heart grow fonder. Getting away from her man while he watches football not only gives a woman time to miss him, but it also eliminates the seething in the next room as she waits for all of the games end. Worse case scenario for the man is he’ll have to get up and feed himself because you’re not around to baby him. Trust me on this one, he doesn’t mind.
5. Catch up on reality TV/your own programs – Instead of feeling neglected or using this time to pick a fight about what's more important, women can use this time to catch up on things they like to watch, but men could care less about. Kardashians, Tamar Braxton, celebrity dance competitions or whatever God awful programming is on is more than capable of keeping women busy for hours at a time while a man indulges in the glory that is football.
Relationship benefit: Actually, there is none here. Well, maybe…nope, don’t see it. Those shows are awful, staged and often predictable. There may even be a detriment here because these shows often skew a woman’s view of what reality really is. Therefore, most men could care less what’s going on there. Sorry.
Enjoyed this article? Receive email alerts when new articles are available. Just click on the “sign up” button above.