What's in a name? Sometimes quite a bit. In New York and in synagogues throughout the world, the portion of Vayishlach was read this past Shabbat. It is in this section of the Book of Genesis that Yaakov [Jacob] is given the name of Yisrael [Israel], which signifies a new aspect to his identity and that of his children who will become known as Bnei Yisrael, [the children of Israel]. However, there are also many other names in this section, including the many descendants of Esau. The lists of names begins with an account of who was born to which wife, and here we are presented with the profound meaning attached to a name.
In 36:3, Esau's third wife is introduced as Basmath, the daughter of Yishmael and the sister of Nevayoth. Rashi comments that earlier she was called Machlath. To account for the two names, he cites an Aggadah of Midrash Sefer Shmuel: There are three who are forgiven their sins, a convert, one who rises to a high position, and one who takes a wife. The last one is indicated here, for this wife is called Machlath [from the same root as mechila -- forgiveness] to show that his sins were forgiven.
In Chidushei Aggadoth, the Maharal brings up the aggadah quoted by Rashi in connection to a statement in Yevamoth 62b: “Rav Chama bar Chanina said, once a man marries a woman, his sins depart, for it says, ‘One who has found a wife has found good and will draw ratzon [appeal] from G-d.’” The Maharal explains that a man without a wife is incomplete, and it is known that sin signifies a chisaron [something lacking]. He offers several quotes of the root cheyt, which is the word for sin also functioning as the word for lack of completeness. An unmarried man who is chaser [lacking] invites sin, which is also a form of chisaron. However, when a man achieves completeness through marriage, he leaves the state of chisaron and removes cheyt. That is the meaning behind the aggadah quoted above.
The Maharal continues to explain the spiritual heights attained through a marriage. He says, know that the groom who marries a wife rises to the [spiritual] level of the elimination of sin. And understand what is meant by “and will draw ratzon from G-d,” for he arrives at the point of Divine appeal where sin is eliminated altogether. As a man is incomplete prior to marriage, he is not yet fully a man. Consequently, his very identity changes at the point that he marries a wife. He is no longer the person he was before then, and so his sins are forgiven. The same basis for forgiveness underlies the other two categories of people whose sins are forgiven. Both a convert and someone who rises to a princely position are considered to have taken on a new identity. For the one who rises in position the change is that before taking office, he is defined as an individual, whereas after he incorporates the character of the community, just as a king contains the entire nation in his identity. The Maharal concludes by saying, although all three become different people, and so merit forgiveness, the profundity of the spiritual elevation achieved by marriage is the essential point.
Few of us will be put in charge of a nation, and those born into the religion do not convert into it. However, everyone has the opportunity to scale new spiritual heights through marriage, and that is the most powerful transformation of all. Though we may not think it possible to have a perfect marriage, perfection does begin with marriage. It is the start of a whole new life in which one achieves both wholeness and a fresh, pure start.
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Comments
As much as I like to see the happily married strolling about, it was never my path in this life to take a wife or have children.
"God" was more important to me.
Most people need what they refer to as their "other half" to feel completed. In most cases that's true. Ever watch old couples? Been married 50 years or more. They've become like one person in two bodies. And when one dies, the other cannot go on.
To be in human love is to see yourself in the eyes of another. To be in divine love, "God realized", you see yourself in the eyes of everything.
To be reborn in this fashion is what human unions practice for.
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