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A mother offers solace to women suffering in silence

Sally Cash, 46, wife and mother of two sons.
Photo courtesy of S. Cash

It was date night at the opera. She squirmed in her seat clutching her husband’s hand with each excruciating contraction. He asked if she wanted to leave. She said no. She was only spotting.

But the contractions grew closer and stronger. Next, a watery discharge seeped between her legs. She sat motionless anxiously waiting for the second intermission.

The lights went up. She sprinted in her long black evening gown and 4-inch heels across the theater lobby to the handicapped bathroom. She locked the door. Suddenly, a surge of blood splashed on the white tiled floor. She quickly wiped it up.

She opened the door to a crowded lobby and called for help. “I said to the manager, two things: We need to call 911. And I want you to get my husband.”

Simply known as Sally, she was the strong, healthy daughter; the perfect wife who, in 2002, gave birth to her son Cameron. She yearned for another boy and two years later was pregnant. But weeks after, Sally felt a strange sensation overtake her body. She lost her unborn child. Months later, she’d lose another on a theater bathroom floor.

Sally was frustrated and angry with her body. Miscarriages weren’t supposed to happen to her. And she envied every woman who flaunted her pregnancy. She conceived again only to suffer her third loss. The once strong, infallible woman suddenly felt alone.

Although the diagnosis of an autoimmune disorder had determined the cause, Sally would still struggle with the effects. She had the support from her husband, but needed the comfort of someone who endured her pain. But nobody wanted to talk.

Desperate, Sally decided to speak out. “I would tell everybody because I’m hurting,” she says. People were shocked. How could she be so open? But the more she spoke out, the more women she discovered were hurting just as much. Eventually, the disorder would claim two more unborn babies.

Physically and emotionally exhausted, Sally escaped to her native England, then later to Spain. “I was emotionally able to recover and get away from the stress of being a working mom,” she says. “I haven’t given up having a second child.”

In 2008, Jasper was born.

Despite her happy ending, Sally’s still speaking out. "I would love to be a source of solace for someone that I can share my experience with,” she says. “They are my sisters.”

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