People tend to write a complaint letter when all phone and email responses fall on dead ears and eyes. Below is a copy of a letter that won a competition in UK as complaint letter of the year. So, have a laugh, maybe save it and read on.
I have been an ABC customer since July of 2010, when I signed up for
your 3-in-one deal for cable, internet, and telephone. During this eternal period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity
of monolithic proportions.
Please allow me to provide specific details so that you can either pursue your professional perogative, and seek to
rectify these difficulties,or more likely (I suspect) so that you can
have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working
day playing sudoku and drinking coffee in your cubicle.
My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my
spending an entire Saturday sitting on my couch waiting for your
technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57
minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more
annoying robotic woman telling me to look at your helpful
I alleviated the boredom by playing with my remote for a few minutes
an activity at which you are no doubt both familiar and highly adept.
The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later,
although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools,
such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem
had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem
arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.
I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35%... hours
between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I am
still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my
mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a
variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly
skilled transfer experts
I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone
will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone
will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows
whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off);
that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an
answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be
transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating
robot woman again.
Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a
thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of
those crucially important customer excellence seminars to attend to. Frankly I don't
care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustration's
in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me,
therefore, if I continue.
I thought ABC were a reputable company, that they had attained rave reviews in
customer relations, however to my dismay, no one, anywhere, ever, could be more
disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to
Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and
foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that
you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for
the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to
deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and
disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused
I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my
cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for
both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not
become fossilized during transit, they were satisfyingly moist at the
time of mailing and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did
not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them
the very embodiment of my feelings towards ABC, and its worthless
Have a nice day, may it be filled with misery to comfort your
irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of service people.
Hopefully you will have your problem resolved before you need to copy and paste or edit this type of response and send it out.