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A letter to Mother, from Stepmother.

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Dear Mother,

I first want to let you know that you are beautiful. It takes a lot of sacrifice to carry a child in your womb for nine long months and deal with all of the side-effects that follow. I know it’s impossible to sneeze without peeing yourself a little and I know that losing all of that baby weight was an absolute nightmare. For dealing with all of that, you are beautiful.

But just because you’ve endured something that even the strongest of us may not be able to bear, it doesn’t give you the right to act the way you do towards me. I know this situation isn’t easy, nor is it really enjoyable, but there are things you need to know before you go about your harsh and hateful ways.

Before I move forward, I want and need you to know that I love him, and I don’t mean that kind of teenager puppy-love, I mean the type of love that consumes you from the inside out, changes you as an entire being and evolves your life in ways you could have never expected. And I promise from this day forward to take care of him – all of him – and that includes his family. I promise that I will be here for him, his mother, his father, his sisters and brothers, and, yes, even his children. I don’t want you to worry about my presence in your child’s life, for that child is not only an innocent child with the purest of thoughts, but that child is a part of him – a part of him I would never forget about, tarnish, or harm in anyway, mentally, emotionally or physically.

Jealously, as defined by the Dictionary itself, is resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another's success or advantage itself. Jealousy, as defined by that fire in our bodies, is the thing that has effected all of us at one point during our existence, something that has in one way or another threatened us and scared us. It lies within the veins of each and every person; it is, unfortunately, wired within our DNA. No, Mother, you’re not the only one suffering from envy here.

I am suffering from jealousy too.

How do you think it feels to know and be reminded every single day that the man I am in love with performed an act of love with another woman? Child-conception and, even sex in general, should occur only between two people who are committed to each other and will spend the rest of their lives (and I’d like to believe eternity) together. I am insanely jealous of you, Mother, I am jealous of your bravery, your courage, your willingness to put a child before yourself, and I am jealous of the connection that you once had with the man I am head-over-heels for.

I know you envy me too. For whatever reason, you resent the idea of me being with your child’s father. You envy me because he moved on and he chose me, you envy me because I sleep with him at night, and you envy me because he and your child are now my family.

In today’s social media and digital age, you must understand that there will be posts – there will be textual stories, photos, and videos of me and your child. And yes, I have no problem saying your child, because I understand that that adorable child is yours and not mine. And, to be honest, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I don’t have children of my own, nor do I think I have to strength to ever bear one, and I’m comfortable saying that all other women in my shoes are either have their own children, or are also content with not having any of their own. I will not stop sharing your child’s life with my friends and my family. If you cannot bear it, please refrain from viewing my social pages. It’s that simple.

Mother, I am kindly asking that you stop your childish ways. I am in no way, shape or form trying to intervene, but your child’s father is not only my family now, but he is a part of me. Your child is now a part of me. I will never say “my child” and I will never want to be called “mommy”, but I do want to be your child’s friend. I want to be in your child’s life, and take your child to the park on beautiful sunny days, chase after Mr. Softee for what will feel like hours just to buy your child an ice-cream cone, and watch Spongebob Squarepants after a long day of school with your child. I want to be your child’s friend – that is all I want. And I want privacy with the man I am in love with and your child. I need you to let us be, and I will let you be. Please accept that that will happen for as long as my heart still beats, because I am Stepmom, and I am not going anywhere.

With love,
Stepmother.

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