Being the new employee can be difficult. You can go from bored to overwhelmed in minutes, and your new colleagues and manager will quickly form an opinion of you based off of the behavior you exhibit during your first couple weeks of work. To be sure you get off on the right foot, make sure you follow these tips below:
8. Don’t talk about your previous job unless asked.
This is a good tip at any point in your career, but especially true during your first few weeks on a job. Quite frankly, nobody gives a damn what you did before. If they do care, they'll ask you. You aren't teaching a class. We aren't looking to you for your own personal case studies. A point can be made without your stories; the stories that attempt to convince us of how important you are.
7. Don't name drop executives unless you are an executive.
This is a behavior that is heavily used by the same people who like to share how important they were at previous jobs. Unless someone is asking you if you know someone, don't drop "important" names in an effort to impress people. If you're dropping the name of your manager's manager's manager's manager as if the two of you worked closely, you're immediately considered a douche by everyone who heard you.
6. Act interested in the worthless documents they emailed to you since they have nothing for you to do.
Chances are that you were hired about 2-4 weeks prematurely. New employees often go without computers, logins, or any tasks for days, or if you're lucky, weeks. Managers realize they've screwed up when they have an employee sitting at their desk doing nothing. To try and make up for the fact that they suck, they'll send you horribly boring documents that no one would ever consider reading. Regardless of their uselessness, it's better to act highly interested in these documents during your first week on the job.
5. Actually pay attention to people’s names when introduced as opposed to pretending to care.
In normal scenarios, you probably forget a person's name before you're done shaking hands with them. But during your first week on the job, it might be fairly important to remember their name. "Guy in the Haggar Work-to-Weekend slacks" might not come across very well if you have to get his attention.
4. Ask a lot of questions even though you don’t care what the answer is.
Managers will think you're very engaged on the job if you're asking a lot of questions. Make sure your questions have a little bit of thought put into them, but not too much. You don't want to end up with too much responsibility. Some new employees make the mistake of acting dumber than they really are. That type of behavior will end poorly.There's a very thick line between stupid people and new people. Pretending to be inquisitive by asking questions for which you know the answer turns that thick line into a thin line.
3. Get in very early at least one day.
During your first week on the job, it's imperative that you show up very early at least one of the days to determine when your manager gets into the office. Once you know, you show up 15 minutes before them and tell them you were there an hour before them. Or two hours if you're a risk taker.
2. Leave late at least one day.
This is the same idea as showing up just 15 minutes before your manager, but some employees aren't morning people. So you leave 15 minutes after your manager. In order to do that, you need to track their departure times.
1. Master the head nod
The most important tip for any new employee is to master the head nod. Too much head nodding and you're an annoying son of a b**ch. Monotone head nodding suggests you aren't paying attention, and a lack of head nodding suggests you have limited cognitive skills. Click here to learn more about mastering the head nod.
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Comments
Just when I think you've jumped the shark....you go and TOTALLY redeem yourself.
Yeah, nice recovery. Good to have you back, Dudley.
whew! I thought you went off the reservation with that interview thing. It is good to have you back.
People cannot forget the late lunch trick too. Make sure you are working when your boss leaves for lunch then keep tabs on him while you are at lunch and be at your desk poised and ready with a "stretch, yawn and stand up" when he walks by. Then you say "Ok, hey boss where's a good place to eat around here?" Even though you already went to lunch it appears that you worked through it. Then you take another break and make sure that you grab McDonalds and eat it at your desk in plain site. He will peg you as a work-a-holic and love you till the end of time or until he catches you pooping in his private washroom.
Gotta be honest with you, this article creeped past my SPAM blocker. Yup, I got rid of Examiner.com after your last "Interview with the Meetingboy" piece of putrid vile. I sure hope you sued that guy for defamation of character.
YOU are a brilliant, insightful writer.
HE is a tweeting, unimportant narcissist undeserving of our viewing pleasure. BUT...you probably wrote the interview on "a bet" (which you lost), SO....I'll re-subscribe.
BTW: Thanks for the tips! I just started a new job and they came in handy.
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