MIAMI & CAYMAN ISLANDS -- For those who squirm at the thought of being trapped on a boat in the middle of the ocean with 2,000-plus drunken metalheads moshing to 42 bands playing two concerts apiece for 4 1/2 days, here's a sobering thought:
For the second consecutive January, the 70000 Tons of Metal voyage turned the fun and harmless debauchery up to 11 while dispelling stereotypes that hound metalheads daily the world over.
There were no fights of notice and no riots (even when there may have been cause for one after an ungodly three-hour wait in the merchandise line). Nope, just clean, vacation-like fun with 2,051 passengers representing 55 countries from every continent (compared to 2,038 passengers from 49 nations for the inaugural voyage in 2011 from Miami to Cozumel, Mexico).
Even CNN was on board this time.
Cruise architect Andy Piller -- a Switzerland native whose residence in Vancouver, British Columbia, oversees a port and thus, sparked his idea five years ago -- acknowledged during a news conference that the 2011 lineup that included Death Angel, Exodus, Testament, Forbidden, Blind Guardian, Amon Amarth, Fear Factory, Nevermore, Sanctuary, Iced Earth and Uli Jon Roth "could not be beat." In addition to the merch line delay, which was already pushed back from the night before, a miscalculation in crane measurements caused the completion of the pool-deck stage to fall behind by approximately six hours.
Such problems were virtually non-existent the first time around.
But considering 51 percent of the passengers were "repeat offenders" from 2011, Piller stated, "We must be doing something right."
He received plenty of support from an unlikely source.
Erik Speekenbrink, the hotel director of Royal Caribbean's Majesty of the Seas, admitted to being "converted" to heavy metal after attending a concert (though he did not name the band). Speekenbrink referred to the passengers as "the best group you could ever travel with . . . and I would do it 52 weeks a year."
The general feeling was that bands interacted more willingly with fans in 2011. Still, 70000 Tons of Metal provides a unique experience. It blends vessel luxuries such as delicious food in the Windjammer Cafe, 24-hour pizza spot Sorrentos and dining rooms plus basketball court, rock-climbing wall and fitness room with an abundance of concerts, instrumental clinics and meet-and-greets.
Besides, where else can you headbang in a jacuzzi with people from all over the world? Or see musicians karaoke artists from James Brown (see video, left) to Chicago? (Let's not talk about the fans who chose to emulate Justin Bieber and John Denver, though).
From bars that never close, to concerts being played at 3 and 4 a.m., to making friends from all over the globe, 70000 Tons provides an incredible headbang for the buck.
If you missed it, don't fret. Piller and his crew have announced the inaugural Barge To Hell, which will feature predominantly death- and black metal bands sailing from Miami to Nassau, Bahamas, on Dec. 3-7 (see slideshow, left).
And if you miss that?
Well, there's always next January and 70000 Tons, Part 3.
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