Many people will advise a woman to get over it after she has revisited an issue countless times. She has talked about it over and over. Not to mention the time that she has spent thinking about it, but yet it’s still on her mind.
Forgiving a romantic partner for hurtful deeds is not easy. Actually, this is a common problem, but there are practical ways that can help any woman to forgive her significant other.
It’s important to understand the perspective of a scorned woman who is struggling with forgiveness. She has placed her heart in the hands of another and it was broken. It takes time to recover from that, but smart women make a decision to move on.
However, the woman that decides to stay in the relationship knows that she has made a conscious effort to forgive him. In fact, she has made some mistakes that he has forgiven her for, but yet she feels like his mistake wasn’t as big. What he did to her was far worse than what she did to him. Therefore, it doesn’t count. Unfortunately, that is not true.
It is apparent that she wants to move on in her relationship, but she is struggling with the hurt that lingers in her heart. She wants to get past the time that he cheated on her and she decided to forgive him. She wants to get past the time that he said something that was insensitive. She wants to get beyond the times that he was insensitive, but she just can’t. She has tried everything that she can think of and she is still at the same place. Some women keep talking about it hoping to find a miracle solution. While there are some that are beyond the talking stage, but she is still thinking about how she can get over it.
These strategies are meant for the woman who really wants to move on. There are no real rules to this game of love, but there are strategies that will help women to have healthy and satisfying relationships.
1. Re-examine the relationship.
Think about the pros and cons of the relationship. It often helps to make a list of the benefits and drawbacks of the relationship and compare. If there are more benefits than drawbacks, than it may be a healthy relationship. If it is questionable, ask a mentor or professional.
2. Complete a self-inventory.
Ask the following questions: What parts of yourself have changed as a result of being in this relationship? Are you a better person as a result of this? Do you like who you are becoming? Are you stagnant in life? Ask yourself some tough questions and identify the areas in which you can improve as a person. Take some time to stop focusing on him and focus on improving yourself.
3. Identify her deepest desires.
What is it that you want from the relationship? What is it that you want from him? What could he do to help you get beyond his mistake? She may or may not want to discuss the answers with him but it is beneficial to be able to identify and communicate these needs to your partner. If needs are better communicated he will be able to love better.
4. Make a conscious effort.
If she has decided to forgive him, she needs to try not to bring up the issue. Try not to think about it, and make an effort to move on.
5. Get around those who are supportive.
It is actually destructive to the relationship to be around people who do not support the relationship. She’ll never get over it if everyone is reminding her of what happened.
6. Keep a journal of thoughts and feelings.
The man has heard enough. Stop talking to him about it. Her friends are tired, so she should start writing down how she feels. She should reread it at a later date to check her progress.
If she doesn’t believe in the relationship, it is doomed. It’s not fair to waste his time. On the other hand, if she believes that she will get beyond the issues of forgiveness, she will. It is just a matter of time before she learns how to get over it.