In a loving, healthy relationship both people should strive to be honest and respectful at all times.
In a romantic relationship we all have two choices- choose to listen or not listen.
In my 20's I am learning that a healthy relationship takes time to develop. I need to have both feet in to stay and develop it or walk away.
Both decisions can make one feel pressure. It's normal to feel pressure when you're making a decision that will make a big impact on your life as a lesson or as a life time commitment.
I recently had to ask myself whether I am ready for a happy and healthy full commitment - A life long commitment. I have never had to make a life long commitment to anything, not even my education. It's a big deal.
I have to feel I should be there. I realize I can only fully be there by resolving any bad feelings I have about men - anger, resentment, guilt, shame and loneliness that could potentially cloud a good relationship.
Lately, I feel safe to unpack my baggage and share a life with someone beyond myself.
Lately, all my faith and trust feels like I gave it to God. It feels wonderful. I feel with God all the things I need for healing and guidance are right before me.
I came up with the following actions to help me follow through with full commitment and trust in a romantic relationship. It is a work in progress but it is helping me reduce the pressure I feel to be a better woman and love like I've never loved. I'm doing my best to be a better me & I feel prepared to be a better me in a committed relationship:
1. Protect our love from outside influence. Our relationship is between us. No outside negativity. Friends/family can be happy for us but that's all the input that's necessary. Our relationship includes you, me & God. Period.
2. Be kind & positive to each other. There's no such thing as down time. We always have to treat each other with kindness & respect.
3. No dismissing emotional pain. When you or me are in a bad mood that's when we need to understand & support each-other the most. When you are in a bad mood I'm not going to tell you to get over it. I'm going to be there for you at all times.
Bad feelings are normal to have sometimes. The happiest people get down sometimes. It's called being human.
We will learn from our negative feelings & resolve them together.
4. When you feel hurt by my actions or words, communicate with me about your feelings so I can correct myself & repair things. Don't let your first choice be to go outside of our relationship. We come to each other for support. We are a team.
5. Feel safe. I'm not here to ridicule or criticize you. I adore you . It's my duty & honor to create a safe place for you in this relationship. It's okay to be you. You let me be me everyday & I love you for doing that.
These are just a few healthy relationship pointers I use in my daily life. I hope it helps!