Forgiveness isn't always such an easy task to accomplish. Sometimes people do things to us that we don’t even want to forgive or don’t think we ever should forgive. Their actions against us may seem unforgivable. Yet, carrying around the emotions that go with not forgiving someone – like anger, hurt, and resentment – only hurt us, not the person who wronged us. Thus, it’s best to figure out some way to let go and forgive.
Here are five ways to forgive…even just a little.
- Simply accept that the other person is who they are and likely won’t change. Allow them to be who they are and go on with your life. You don’t have to like them. You don’t even have to be with them; you can choose not to ever see them again. If you know they are who they are and act the way they did toward you because it is who they are, you can simply accept that behavior and move on. This isn’t necessarily forgiveness in a large sense, but it is in the sense that you can forgive them for simply being themselves. It’s like saying they can’t help themselves from acting how they do – until they want to change or realize that they have reason to change.
- Forgive the person simply so you can move on. Do it for yourself, not for them. Realize how much your lack of forgiveness hurts you – how much energy you invest in continuing to be angry, hurt, resentful, etc. And realize that not forgiving them won’t make them change. So, you change…forgive and get happy and healthy.
- Acknowledge your part in what happened – if there possibly could be one. Sometimes you have to move to a very deep metaphysical and spiritual level to see how your souls might even have chosen to dance together through this hurtful situation to get you to the next stage or place in your life. Or you may simply be able to see that you contributed to a situation in some way. Admitting even a small “fault” can help you move forward.
- Remember the love or positive feelings you had for the person previously. Allow yourself to feel those. Open your heart. Allow them in just a bit. Be vulnerable.
- Stop thinking about the other person and what they did to you. Get involved in other things. If you can’t forgive, then forget. Move one. Don’t focus on the hurt and the incident. This just perpetuates it. Create a new reality for yourself.
Of course, you can always seek out help with a life coach, counselor or therapist. There are many good books on forgiveness as well.
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