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5 tips to deal with a defiant teenager

Teens
Teens
Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

As most of us know, being a teenager is far from being easy and I can remember from my own personal experiences that the teenage years for me were some of the most emotional and turbulent times in my life.

Not to say that a teenager being defiant is acceptable behavior, but defiant behavior can happen at that age and figuring out as a parent the most effective ways to deal with a defiant teenager is essential to keeping one's own sanity and keeping your teenager safe and encouraging respect.

Here you will find five tips on how to deal with a defiant teenager.

Root cause

Teenagers have so many issues and dilemmas going on in their life; trying to talk to a teen and finding out if there is something causing the defiant behavior would be a good start. Your teen may be having problems with a friend, or a teacher at school and many times when teens have problems that are upsetting to them; they will express it in defiant behavior. Trying to find out the root cause of a defiant teenager is a great step in a positive direction.

Keep your teen busy

Teenagers who are involved in activities tend to stay out of trouble more and a teen who is involved with outside activities also tends to have a more positive outlook which can help to minimize defiant behavior. An active mind and body help to keep a teen's spirits more positive and less likely to experience boredom and boredom can also lead to defiant behavior.

Spend time with your teen

It is really easy as a parent to get caught up in work issues, money issues and everything else that parents and families have to deal with on a daily basis. It is important, however, to remember to spend quality time with your teen and have meaningful conversations. Sometimes teens become defiant because they feel like they are being ignored, so it is imperative to spend that quality time with a teen so they feel loved and are connected with important people in their lives, especially their parents.

Pick your battles

Being at odds with your child is not uncommon as a parent of a teenager, but it is important as a parent to decide which battles you feel are important to challenge and which ones can be put to the side and released or put to the side temporarily. I know for myself as a parent that sometimes I would get caught up in the heat of the moment and keep arguing with my daughter and then realize that I did not want to keep fighting the battle because it really was not as important as I originally thought.

Deal with issues together

No matter what a teenager may say or do, they do not enjoy dealing with problems alone. As a parent, figuring out and trying to help and solve your teen's problems together is a good way to build trust and build closeness. When your teen feels like you are a team, he or she may be less likely to be defiant when a future issue may arise.