Well it's that time again, NHL Playoffs, and girlfriends and wives, and sometimes even boyfriends and husbands, are groaning because their loved one is being swept away by the almighty game. Are you tired of taking second place to a sheet of ice? Whoa nelly, be careful how you pose that groan. When it comes to hockey, there are rules. And when it comes to watching hockey, even more. Take it from this Canadian gal, if you try to sway someone into putting hockey second place, you are going to lose. Especially when it's playoffs time. Even if you don't like hockey, that doesn't mean you have to suffer. Follow these 6 easy but crucial hockey rules and relationship advice when it comes getting through the NHL playoffs with your relationship intact.
1. Never say 'I don't like hockey'. Ever.
Translation: Never say 'I don't like hockey'. Ever. In Canada, it's the best piece of relationship advice you can get.
That includes that statement's passive aggressive third cousin 'hockey's boring.' Never say those things.
If someone ELSE says those things to YOU, just….be kind. They don't get it. Obviously. This is not your time to make them get it, this is just your time to be kind.
2. Always wear a jersey.
A jersey is the international symbol of "I care". When it comes to your team, when it comes to your man. You don't have to wear something 10 sizes too big for you, but he will think that's super cute. Men love it when their woman puts on a jersey for a number of reasons. It is sexy as snot, and…it is the international symbol of "I care". So if you are sucked into watching a game that bores you, at least do your best to look cute for him while you do so and earn yourself some playoffs payoffs.
3. The PVR is your friend. Just not his during the playoffs.
You don't PVR hockey, so don't even ask.
Translation: You can go ahead and PVR whatever YOU want, and if you don't want to miss any of the Real Housewives episodes, then you should PVR it all. But don't ask him to PVR his game during the NHL Playoffs so that you can watch Real Housewives. If you do, don't be surprised if he does that thing that makes it look like he's listening to you, but really isn't. Then when you bring it up later when the Real Housewives is on he's going to give you that same blank look and say 'we never had that conversation' and…then watch the game.
I know it's a total double standard and I get it, but that doesn't mean that will ever change. Ever. It's hockey. Accept that and pick your battles and move on. And let your PVR save your relationship.
4. Don't be bored.
Translation: If you're bored, find something else to do. In another room. Or country. Just not Canada. It's the same relationship advice as saying you are bored. You can't show that you are bored either.
There's nothing more annoying to those that love hockey than someone who doesn't and is obvious about it. If you choose to stay in with your guy, or girl, when the NHL Playoffs are on, you are a wonderful supportive girlfriend, wife, or boyfriend.
You decide to use that time sitting on the couch asking every five minutes "How much longer?" Then you are just setting the stage nicely for a fight. You won't be offending your sweetie by finding something else to do, so long as you aren't expecting them to join you in that activity in lieu of an NHL playoffs game.
5. Do drink beer.
During the NHL Playoffs it's okay to drink a little more beer than you normally would. In Canada, it's practically the law. So if you are totally bored out of your mind, take advantage of the heavy stock of refreshing beverages on hand at any good playoffs party. Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
6. Use fun trivia to make conversation if you stay in for the game.
You might look a little goofy, but after the fact he will think it's cute that you tried. Stuck for some? What about the origin of the puck? While you are waiting for it to drop, just not during the anthems, ask him if he knows where the origin of the puck came from. A lot of people think it came from the game of hurling when the "poke" was used, but that is incorrect according to the legend that arises out of Halifax, Nova Scotia. Locals there believe that it was the Irish who first coined the term, and its first printed reference occurred in Montreal just one year after Halifax hosted the first ever indoor hockey game.
7. Don't text/call/email incessantly him during the game.
Translation: If you don't put down the freaking phone and stop bugging him, I guarantee you that you will be having a conversation with your girlfriends in the next 48 to 72 hours about why he's not calling.
If you must contact him, don't text him and then get mad at him for not getting back to you. He really is too busy, and he will never tell you that hockey is more important but….in this moment…it just is. You will never change his mind on that. Ever. Wait till the game is over, wait ten more minutes for him to have his broo ha ha with the boys, and then text him starting with, "How was the game?" and take it from there.
Did I miss any? How are you enjoying the NHL Playoffs? Do you and your honey have any rituals? What is your best NHL Playoffs relationship advice?
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