Research points to the fact that each child suffers an early assault to his or her self-esteem at a young age, typically between birth and 6 years of age. The child’s initial realization that he or she is imperfect and somehow does not measure up, is flawed, or is not worthy of love, happiness, rich relationships, abundance, and fulfillment comes as a result of this early traumatic episode when the child either buys into the disparaging view of another or creates an interpretation that he or she is defective in some important way, even though no such conclusion was offered or intended by another.
From the time of this early realization forward, the child will scan for situations that reinforce this initial assumption that there is something not good enough about who he or she is intrinsically. Over the years and decades of gathering such evidence and actually creating it as a self-fulfilling prophesy, the child and later the adult develops a certain and unshakable belief in his or her imperfection. Diminished self-esteem and the resulting expectations of failure, struggle, suffering, broken relationships, and hurt are the inevitable result.
There are many things that parents can do to champion their children to possess a strong self-image and high self-esteem. These include the following.
1. Love them unconditionally.
2. Distinguish bad behavior from being a bad person.
3. Speak to children respectfully and acknowledge them daily for some worthwhile quality they possess.
4. Empower them to have the confidence to make their own choices.
5. Remind them regularly that everyone has unique gifts. Support them to identify what theirs are.
Dr. Joe Rubino is the creator of http://www.theselfesteembook.com and CEO of http://www.CenterForPersonalReinvention.com
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