So you've seen the text message on his phone that makes your heart drop and your throat swell up to cry. He seemed so nice and you were so smitten that you ignored the obvious signs that he's a "player."
"Why didn't I see this coming?" One of the questions to ask when you realize you've been setup for a failed relationship. He said he wanted something meaningful. He said he wanted me to be his number one. The problem with the "number one" thing is that it's a perpetual count; there could be several "number ones." How do you avoid this dating pitfall? Look for the signs:
1. A player has a very busy phone. Every time you're out with this guy, his phone is lighting up and blowing up all night. There is no time of day or night that he's not being contacted by someone. If these someones are mostly female, you should ask him questions about his true intentions for you. Don't stick around if it doesn't change.
2. A player has a social network that rivals a Hollywood celeb. This dude has more Twitter followers than Justin Bieber. He's got so many Facebook "friends" that he can't even keep up. Not only is his phone busy with calls and texts, but his social networking activity is on his phone. This makes for dates with him that are totally distracting and full of HIS activity. Here again is an opportunity to get true intentions out on the table.
3. A player has "friends" he refuses to stay away from. These "friends" aren't just his boys. These are female friends who don't care that he's in a relationship with you. They will call and text him all times during the day and night and when you confront him about it, he'll convey your jealousy to them. Sometimes friends are such because they will accept any level of emotional attachment to the person they have developed an affinity toward. It's a good idea to ask an initial dating question about "friends."
4. A player wants to have cake and eat it too. This type of person enjoys having one person to rely on, while playing the field from every other angle. If this person can get one loyal fan, a.k.a "girlfriend," they will love and treat you well. They will still give you every reason why it is necessary for them to play and you should understand with silence and support.
5. A player is a master manipulator. This person didn't earn this title by being faithful to one person. If this becomes a recognizable behavior, end the relationship if you don't want to be in a harem.
The bottom line is: don't date a player if you're not ready for the game.