The Bachelor and The Bachelorette reality TV shows are a version of the prince and princess fairy tale, with 26 people all trying to live happily ever after. The goal of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette is to develop, discover and choose one true love from amongst the contestants in under two months. This seems a tad unrealistic when it’s rare to even meet someone you are interested in dating. However, if no one fell in love, at least initially, then the show wouldn’t exist.
Examining the format of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette reveals lessons about creating attraction and desire in relationships. The following 5 lessons can be as effective for you—and require less than a reality TV show budget—in creating, sustaining and increasing attraction in your relationships.
Isolation: The Bachelor and Bachelorette gain heightened attractiveness simply because the contestants on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette are isolated from the outside world. When you’re with someone, reduce distractions. Pay attention to when they’ll be alone or bored and appear to always call or text during those times. You will have less competition and your presence will appear to have greater importance, during interactions and in his or her memories.
Expectations: The Bachelor and Bachelorette exude confidence because of their awareness that all the contestants expect, and desire, to fall in love with either star, or at least “win” the show. Confidence is a highly attractive quality. When you perceive yourself as attractive and act as if you are a commodity, people will respond to that confidence and treat you with more value.
Misattribution of arousal: The contestants’ excitement from the show translates into and heightens the contestants’ attraction to the Bachelor or Bachelorette. Mimic this effect by avoiding routines and making the effort to turn a majority of your time together exciting.
Shared experiences: Unique and romantic dates, shared experiences, create a personal bond between the couples and heighten the intensity of contestants’ time with the Bachelor and Bachelorette. The more unique your experiences together at the beginning of the relationship, the stronger the potential bond, and the more attractive you will appear to your partner.
Competition: Competition by definition heightens any objects’ attractiveness. Fear of “losing” the Bachelor or Bachelorette (or the show) creates urgency and intensity. Much like the “isolation” effect, creating a sense of competition, for your time, focus, or information, makes you a commodity, creates intrigue, and can even cause a little healthy jealousy. Letting your partner wonder about you means he or she is probably thinking about you when you’re not around. Wait until she asks for details about your background and save long stories for later in the relationship.
Applying these tips can help you increase attraction, kick-start connections, and make the early stages of a relationship feel as exciting as a reality TV show. Note that in the long run, however, reality TV has little to do with actual reality. Desire and attraction alone are not enough to sustain any relationship. From a total of twenty-five seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, only six couples have married, and only three are still together at all. The Bachelor and The Bachelorette may not provide the keys to everlasting happiness, but the format can help you appear and feel like a star to your partner and set the stage for a potential fairy-tale ending of your own.
---
Benjamin Ritter, MBA, MPH, Author of The Essentials and co-founder of Suave Lover International, is a freelance writer and a private relationship-and-social-dynamics coach in the areas of public health, fitness, and social dynamics, a writer and editor for Ask Men.com, and the interpersonal relationships columnist for examiner.com. His passion lies in guiding and providing tools to men for overall self-improvement.
If you enjoyed this article, please subscribe for future updates at the top of the page, and share it with your friends using the social media links on this page. Also, please feel free to directly contact me with any comments or questions at RitterBenjamin@gmail.com and visit Suave Lover International for coaching services. For more information got to Benjamin-Ritter.com
*Edited by Rachel Ritter
Comments