Finding a relationship isn’t nearly as challenging as maintaining a relationship. This is because in the beginning of a relationship, everyone puts their best self forward. Some people even pretend to be someone they are not in order to attract someone. Ten years down the road, the relationship that seemed like a wonderful dream in the beginning proves to be nothing more than a nightmare.
There are 5 must have ingredients to a long lasting relationship. Together they form the perfect recipe for success:
-Attraction. Attraction is what draws you together. Therefore, it is also an important part of keeping you together. Why is it, then, that so many decide that after they have been in a relationship for awhile they have permission to let themselves go? Lacy nighties are traded in for flannel PJs. Men decide that shaving is not a priority if they are just sitting at home on the weekend in a holey t-shirt and ratty shorts. Personal hygiene often takes a nosedive compared to the early days of your relationship. Feeling comfortable with your partner is wonderful, but if that comfort level makes you lazy in regard to how you look, then perhaps you need to check yourself.
-Trust. Trust is a must for a long term relationship. Trusting another person with your emotions, your body, and your spiritual being is a huge risk. It means becoming vulnerable to someone else, which is essential in a loving relationship. Trust is a two way street, however, and if you are going to demand trust you must also be a trustworthy person. When trust is broken in a relationship, it can be very difficult to regain. When trust leaves a relationship, other ingredients quickly follow.
-Respect. Respect has a lot to do with the kind of person you are. Most people are either respectful or they are not. It is never too late to learn how to be a respectful person, however. All it takes is mindfulness, and learning how to treat others as you would want to be treated yourself. Respect often means speaking from a place other than from emotions. It is never good to call your partner degrading names, or treat them in a manner that is degrading. Make your partner feel like a star in your world. When you stop respecting your partner, there is a domino effect. Your partner will stop respecting you. It may also shatter self esteem. Any kind of abuse shows a blatant lack of respect.
-Love. There must be love for a relationship to last. There are different kinds of love, but they all center around a deep, abiding, caring for another person. If there is no caring, then a relationship is doomed.
-Friendship. Friendship is often put on the back burner to romance, passion and sex in a relationship. The truth is, however, that long after good sex and passion fade away, friendship will still remain. If your relationship is based solely on sex and passion, what happens when one of those is diminished? You will find yourself sitting across from someone you have little in common with, being bored to tears. Fall in love with a friend or your romance blossom into a beautiful friendship. It is a key ingredient to a long lasting relationship.