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4 Steps to get even with those that hurt you

Are you the proud one or the sad one?
Are you the proud one or the sad one?
TW Photos

Have you ever felt someone has been unfair or mistreated you? Many experience such treatment at work whether it is deserved or not warranted in any way. Perhaps you were services were terminated while someone of lesser skill was retained. Maybe your partner found a way push you out of the business you both created. A boss gives you all the horrible assignments and a colleague gets all the easy fun stuff. If you think about it hard enough, you most likely had or are currently having such experiences or worse.

It is easy to dwell on the negative interactions and their effects. Sometimes, it is near impossible to move away from the feelings created by the situation. This is in spite of the fact that a greater focus on the past situations only serve to enhance your sadness, hate, or in ability to trust others. Focusing on the negatives may even cause you to pass along the negativity to others or mistreat them. It is easy to be less kind to others once you have experienced a grave wrong yourself and you are unhappy.

There is a great way to get even and it is via positive activity. You will need to channel your negative feelings and use them to achieve something of greater importance. Try some of the steps listed below. You may never completely eliminate all the bad feelings, but you will end up in a much better place in the long run.

1. Reflect: Reflection sounds counter intuitive since your problem is that you are not able to move away from the feelings of mistreatment. The purpose of examining the situation is to understand what and why something happened. Determine if you contributed to the situation or if you might have done something differently. The better you understand the issues and why something took place, the better you can protect yourself from such events in the future.

2. Take a step back: Having developed a better understanding of the situation and its impact on you, hopefully, you know when to take actions that better protect your future. For example, you were terminated without cause from your job. Perhaps, your next employment agreement will have severance terms to protect you if it happens again. Your partner stole the business and you are out and alone. Your next business may be a 100% ownership by you and you find mentors or staff to help with areas your skills need boosting. The point of stepping back is to help reduce or eliminate any anger or sadness. It is very hard to move on when you carry such heavy baggage.

3. Plan next steps: Identify a direction and goal that would make you happy. You learned a lot from your last activity even if it ended in extreme disgust. Using the knowledge to plan for a more positive outcome will help you move to a much better level. For example, you got terminated in your last job and now you decide to run your own business. Map out the steps to get the business up and running. Keep your eyes on your future and only take the useful knowledge from the past with you. Leave the hate and sadness behind as they will only slow you down.

4. Execute: Whatever the strategy or direction, you must engage and move forward. You need all energy and focus on achievement of the goals you set. A new job leading a team or a new business you run alone are examples of directions you could take. The most important thing is to excel and perform in an exemplary manner.

As hard as it seems, the best way to get even with those that have done wrong is to excel and show them and everyone else that you succeeded in spite of everything. You win through the success and everyone will see you succeeded; even those that tried to beat you down. This means you win TWICE!

Taffy Williams can be found on LinkedIn, Twitter @twilli2861, ColonialTDC , photo website, Google+, Facebook, and Startup Group. He has written more than 300 articles for: Startup Blog and Examiner Charlotte, NC- small business. More on the agile concepts may be found in soon to be released book: Think Agile

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