Despite a population of nearly 10 million people, the dating pool in Los Angeles isn't exactly the greatest. This is just the opinion of 1/10,000,000 of a person, of course (give or take a few). Many Los Angeles transplants currently involved in the LA dating scene have expressed that dating in Los Angeles is relatively difficult on account of the quantity of superficial people that plague the LA dating scene. It is no surprise when it is discovered how quickly some singles become jaded by the LA dating scene after getting burned pretty bad more than once by past relationships. 

But there comes a point in time in every single person's life when you start to yearn for something so much more than what you have been getting or have been settling for in the past. There comes a point in time when you realize that you can do so much better for yourself and that you actually deserve better.There comes a point in time when you tell yourself that it's time to step up your game if you have any shot at scoring that relationship of your dreams.

And when that time comes, there are three core fundamentals of dating that every single must embrace if they plan on improving their dating experiences and the overall quality of their dating pool. These core fundamentals are based on an in depth analysis of empirical research and transcend generational divides, so no matter your age, these fundamentals will probably still apply to you.

Dating IS a Game... Get used to it!

First of all, dating is a game like any other, and every game has three basic components: players to play, prizes to win, and a playbook to win the game. Here are the three basic fundamentals of the dating game:

Step #1: Identify the players.  Who are the players you will be up against? What is their experience? Do they have any strengths or weaknesses? There are four primary player types you will commonly come across in the dating game – the Minor League Player, the Major League Player, the All-Star Player, and the Benchwarmer Player, each of which maintain their own set of dating philosophies:

• The Minor League Player– This category of players represents adolescent daters who play the Game of Words and Numbers. They are all talk and no walk, and place a high value on the quantity over the quality of their sexual conquests or relationships. Minor League daters will say or do just about anything to get what they want out of a relationship while maintaining minimal dating standards. They can best be described as parasitic dates that use their romantic prey as a crutch for their own self-esteem.

• The Major League Player– This category of players represents mature, more evolved daters who prefer to play the Game of Logic and Reason. They think before they speak and take action when they say they will, while placing a high value on the quality over the quantity of their relationships or sexual conquests. Major League daters tend to choose their relationships more wisely than any other player category and maintain higher than average dating standards. While Minor League daters have adopted the mentality of “sowing wild oats” in as many places as possible, Major League daters date with the mentality of “sowing wild oats” in strategic places where they can cultivate and grow something of meaning or purpose. They can best be described as levelheaded daters who know what they want and go after it.

• The All-Star Player– This category of players represents serial daters with a few tricks up their sleeves and can often find themselves engaging in a wild Game of Passion and Seduction. These types of players are the ones to be most wary of because they almost always use their extensive knowledge of the game to their advantage, even if it means giving you anything you want (compliments, gifts, excitement, adventure, etc.) to get what they want (relationship of their choice). All-Star daters are notorious for keeping their options open because of their indecisiveness about settling down. They enjoy the thrill of the chase more than the endgame itself and are best described as experienced daters who have been burned in the past and now maintain ridiculously high dating standards as a result.

• The Benchwarmer Player– This category of players represents jaded daters who haved opted to play in the more spontaneous Game of Hope and Chance. They have ample knowledge of the game, but a lack of motivation or desire to play the game for various reasons. Most Benchwarmers prefer to categorize themselves as this type of player because of their very laissez-faire nature. The reality of this category is that it is actually intended for those who have already won their prize in a game of love or lust and have retired from the dating game as a result. They show up to the game and couldn't care less if they play or not – they are perfectly content with sitting on the bench and being a spectator, participating only if requested. Benchwarmers can best be described as hopeless romantics or lone wolves who follow their heart where ever it leads them.

Step #2: Determine the prize.What are the prizes? What is your goal or endgame? Do you want meaningless sex or do you want a meaningful relationship? What kind of relationship do you want? These are important questions you have to ask yourself because how you answer them will determine how you approach your desired relationship. As long as you remain unsure of what kind of relationship you seek, you are going to have a hard time getting the relationship you aren’t even sure you want. 

Step #3: Write the playbook. How do you win? Do you have a game plan? What strategies will you use to obtain your treasured prize? The questions of all questions, right? This is the part of the dating game that makes it so much fun. Will there be adventure and excitement? Absolutely. Will there be heartbreak and rejection? You betcha. But through trial and error, we have the ability to become the deliberate creators of our own dating experiences.

We live, we date, and then we learn; it’s as simple as that. Dating is far more than a mere game to be played where there are more winners than there are losers. Dating is a journey so eloquently designed to teach you the lessons about yourself you would never have learned otherwise.