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3 first date faux pas

First dates can be stressful enough without having to worry about sending the wrong message.  With most advice geared toward personal positives, one's anxious pre-date search for answers could be better spent working on the big don'ts that burn us the fastest on our journey to a satisfying relationship. Too many times, our focus before dates is spent in front of the closet door mirror matching shoes bags and belts until we have that "finished rubix cube" moment.  While personal appearance and physical attraction are undoubtly number one when meeting with someone for the first time, as the date goes on your personality and chemistry between you and your date will be far more relevent.  This begins no no number one! Don't look like you're trying too hard!  Plan your outfit beforehand and try to portray yourself with confidence, self-respect and personality.  Sexual/physical attraction may win you one night in wonderland, but if it's your key player, you may not take home the trophy to keep.       


After you've dressed for success and your personal appearance helps sell the real you, not the bits you've paid for, conversation is the next big piece to the puzzle.  There are so many wonderful things to discuss that it may be hard to choose topics, or stay on a single thought for that matter.  The key to remember is that this is the first date! There will be lots of time to familiarize each other with all the great things that make you tick. Date don't number two, Stop babbling! Even if you're not ignorant, it's easy to come off that way.  No one enjoys being a part of a one sided fist fight and a one sided conversation is no better.  First dates are a great opportunity to do question and answer trade-offs. If the conversation seems forced or uncomfortable this could be a clear sign that you have little in common.  Ranting about your cat and how much you enjoyed your team building exercise with your office this last summer could be a real turn off. Try asking your date questions about themselves that you can relate to. From there, build on a equal conversation and don't forget to smile and laugh.  If there's nothing to say to each other after 20 minutes, you may want to rethink your list of date qualifications.


Last on the list (but definitely not least) is honesty.  Be honest with your date, honest with yourself and most importantly, honest with heart. Date do not number three, Don't settle for the sake of having a partner! It will definitely be the hardest part of the evening but if you don't feel that "holy grail of dating" spark then don't try to force it.  Not only do you waste your date's time, but you waste your own as well. As simple as this sounds, it's the least listened to advice there is!  With so many bad relationships out there and so few people willing to end them, who knows who is being robbed of their soul mate for comfort's sake.  If you don't feel like the connection between you and your date is strong enough, gently decline their offer for a next date. 


If you follow these guidelines for dating don'ts, you can enter into a date feeling confident, powerful, beautiful and ready for anything!

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