Page 2 of "25 Homer Simpson Quotes to guide you to a successful career". Click here to read page 1.
13. Respect the dress code.
Homer: Look everyone! Now that I'm a teacher I've sewn patches on my elbows.
Marge: Homer that's supposed to be leather patches on a tweed jacket, not the other way around. You've ruined a perfectly good jacket.
Homer: Incorrect, Marge. Two perfectly good jackets!
14. Be a patriotic citizen.
Homer: You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
15. Think outside the box.
Marge: Homer, you don't have to pray outloud.
Homer: But he's way the hell up there!
16. Look beyond the facts.
Homer: Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!
17. Reward good ideas.
Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you! I was twice your age when I figured that out.
18. Follow HR policies and regulations.
Homer: Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.
19. Learn how to multi-task.
Homer: It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
20. Be innovative.
Frink: ...and these (handing books to Homer) should give you the grounding you'll need in thermodynamics, hypermathematics and of course microcalifragalistics.
Homer: Er, look, I just want to know how to invent things.
Frink: All you have to do is think of things which people need but which don't exist yet.
Homer: You mean like an electric blanket-mobile?
Frink: Www oh well, possibly. Or you could take something that already exists and find a new use for it, like...
Homer: Hamburger earmuffs.
Frink: Mmm well, I suppose that would qualify.
Homer: Thanks sucker. (Homer throws the books and runs off)
21. Expect results.
Homer: I want the answers now or eventually!
22. Brevity is an important skill.
Homer: The problem in the world today is communication. Too much communication.
23. Always dig for more details.
Manager: Do you like children?
Homer: What do you mean, all the time? Even when they're nuts?
24. Confidence is essential.
Homer: We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget -- we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, AND the pudding cup.
25. Always share your knowledge.
Homer: I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
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> Thanks to TheSimpsonsQuotes.com, a great repository of Simpsons quotes. Go vote. Also a big thanks to GCramer of Ohio for creating this idea in the Advocates of Work Humor group on LinkedIn.
> Visit the Simpsons official website
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Comments
I live by #25. I had that posted above my desk for years. I got a few weird stares from the owner but he got over it.
Good ole Homer - an inspiration to balding, fat, middle-aged men across the world.
#17 is the one. Work is for chumps. That's why I took to bringing my guitar to work. Since the owner also played the guitar, he thought that was a good idea. Which was sort of like #25.2!
Oh my god. I'm Homer!
#16 is a pure René Descartes and #22 is about woldwide total entropy.
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