Let's face it. If you're trying to recover from a broken heart, sometimes grandma's advice just doesn't cut it. So we've put together some of these 21st Century Tips to help you get (and stay) on the road to healing.
1) Throw yourself a pity party. Get some ice cream and eat your heart out, then rent sentimental DVD's and cry your eyes out. Contrary to popular belief, crying is actually good for you. A recent study published in Current Directions in Psychological Science, shows that after crying, your breathing and heart rate slows, which puts you into a relaxed state. So let it all out! It’ll help.
2) Erase. Don’t chase. Delete your ex’s number from your phone, text messages, emails, IM-buddy list, Facebook and any other social networking sites. The less contact you have with your ex, the less anxiety you’ll feel and the sooner you’ll heal.
3) Join an online support network. Sign up for a free breakup recovery support site where you can share your story with other women & men who are experiencing the same pain or have overcome it. Giving and receiving advice can push open the doors to healing.
4) Drive past your past. When thinking about it doesn’t seem to be enough, hop in your car and drive by your former ex-boyfriend’s house, work, or places you used to hang out. You know, the jerk from a few years ago that you thought you’d never get over? Drive by and when you get there, take a moment to remember what it took to get over him/her. Then apply that strength to your current situation. Sometimes you have to drive by your past so you can move toward the future.
5) Put yourself out there: Qualifier – I am NOT saying to start dating right away! But if you're feeling like you will never meet anyone ever again and you keep playing that thought over and over again in your mind, this could help: Put your picture up on a dating site - it can be in your city or an entirely different state. It's up to you. The inquiries you get from potential dates will make you feel attractive and desirable to the opposite sex, plus you’ll get rid of that feeling that “I’ll never meet anyone again.” When you’re over your ex, answer a few of the inquiries. Mr. or Ms. Right may be right around the corner.
6) Beat depression with a notebook (or online blog). Use a guided journal like The Breakup Workbook , or simply grab a notebook and start with a pro/con list and go from there. A journal can show you where you’ve been and can be the place where you draw up the plan that gets you where you want to go. If you're not the pen-to-paper writing type, then start an online blog to help you keep track of your thoughts.
7) Call a hotline. If you’re having difficulty accepting the breakup, or you feel that depression is taking over your life, call a hotline. There are many listed in your phone book or online. In fact, in most countries there is some sort of support hotline to help with depression. Or you can go the old-fashioned route and seek a therapist. If your insurance plan doesn’t cover it and money is tight, check online or call your local hospital for a list of free mental health services or support groups. Some therapists have a sliding scale.
Of course, read this advice with a caveat - some of these won't apply to your personal situation. We realize that everyone is different. But if you'd like to tell your story, comment on this blog and we'll try to give advice specific to your situation!