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2013 Utah Roller Derby All Star: Colonel Skirts

Colonel Skirts ranks third in the 2013 Utah Roller Derby All Star Roster, and tied for MVP votes. Colonel currently skates with the Junction City Roller Dolls in Ogden, Utah.
Colonel Skirts ranks third in the 2013 Utah Roller Derby All Star Roster, and tied for MVP votes. Colonel currently skates with the Junction City Roller Dolls in Ogden, Utah.
Photo courtesy of Chris Bojanower

As we near the end of the 2013 Utah Roller Derby All-Star Roster voted on by all of you, we reach the top three skaters from Utah, who all received the same number of MVP votes. They are ranked here by total overall votes. The first of the top three skaters in the state of Utah is Colonel Skirts, who currently skates with the Junction City Roller Dolls in Ogden, Utah. Much thanks to Chris Bojanower and Pixel This Photography for their kindness in allowing me to use their photos for this article.

"This girl has some massive hits. you can see the strategy with everything she does on the track." ~ Anon

"She's quick and nimble, but will hit you like a truck." ~ Lady Shatterly

"There are not words that can adequately describe why colonel skirts is one of the best players in Utah. She's a great leader, humble, and fantastic at pretty much anything she does: both on and off the track. Probably helps that derby seems to run through her veins as she's been playing for as long as she has been, and can't seem to give it up.

Plus she has a very attractive awesome derby wife" ~ Anon

"Colonel Skirts is easily one of the best roller derby athletes that Utah has ever seen. She is a living, breathing example of hard work paying off and an inspiration to many. She has grown with the sport and evolved into a super smart and highly skilled athlete. She is a strong leader on and off of the track and she isn't afraid to go for what she wants. One of my derby heroes for sure." ~ Slayer Cake

"She hits hard and often holds a jammer on her own until help arrives" ~ MaJer Malfunction

"Colonel Skirts is the true definition of a "derby girl". She is a forced to be reckoned with on the track. Whether she's crushing your soul with her blocking abilities or being a graceful wrecking ball of a jammer, you'll know her name by the end of the bout! Aside from all of that though, Colonel is more than willing to pass along her ever flowing wisdom. She will not hesitate to pull you aside and either show you what you're doing wrong OR stop and teach you how to fine tune a move. Everyone should take a page from Colonel's book and listen to some punk music, stay dedicated to this sport & maybe even try to be as sweet as her every once in awhile." ~ Mayhem Miller

"Best Pivot she always knows what going on and communicates it well" ~ Anon

"Colonel was one of my first coaches for roller derby. She was not only a crucial part of starting Junction City, but also a great asset to the entire roller derby community as a whole. You cannot skate with or against this girl without coming away a better player yourself." ~ Malibu Harpy

If you have information about Colonel Skirts you would like to add, please send me an email by clicking here.

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