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2012 reasons why 2012 sucked

Sigh, sigh..
Sigh, sigh..

In a nutshell: the world is ending in 2012 due to the Earth's core melting causing the tectonic plates to move rapidly out of control. Certain people have known that this was going to happen since 2009 but it was kept a secret from the general population, but not from John Cusack however. Playing Curtis Jackson, a washed up B-list author turned limo driver he somehow discovers that there are unsinkable ships being built in China that could possibly allow him to save himself and his family from this apocalyptic event. That’s pretty much the plot for yet another one of Roland Emmerich's end of the world type movies. Sigh, sigh... what a let down.

The last thing this article is intended to do is knock Emmerich however. He has established himself as a credible director mixing his talents amongst different genres of successful entertaining films. Sci-fi: Stargate, drama: The Patriot, comedy/horror: Eight Legged Freaks, but he really should have left the 'end of the world, action/adventure' genre with Independence Day.

Remember Independence Day? What a great film. Awesome special effects, a good story, good acting, not too long and drug out, you actually cared about the characters, and it didn’t have way too many over the top cheesy lines. Ya, well 2012 was the exact opposite of all the things that made Independence Day good, thus making 2012 bad.

Watching buildings implode, world landmarks crumble, islands burn, and cities fall via some really cool special effects due to a huge budget, was the only thing that did this film justice. Besides the Michael Bay type action scenes, this movie was nothing short of a disastrous let down. When your eye isn't fooling your mind with thinking that you're being entertained by these special effects, you're faced with the reality of watching a terrible film.

Just a few reasons WHY 2012 WAS BAD:

Bad lines! I think this film could win an award for worst one liners.
-"We are heading right toward the face of Mount Everest."
-"So you're telling me the North Pole is somewhere in Wisconsin now? Actually sir, that's the South Pole."

Want more? Well you're just gonna haveta go watch for yourself.

Ridiculous/impossible situations (one after another after another). You always have to be open minded with films, but when you go from open minded to the “are you kidding me!?” point, you know you must be watching something beyond ridiculous.
- A plane's running out of gas. A water landing has to be made. But wait… due to some divine luck, China has moved 1500 miles in the exact direction of where the plane needs to land, phew thank goodness, now let’s just drive the $100,000 cars out of the plane and land right exactly where we need to be in China at the exact time we need to be there, that was easy.
...what else?
-John Cusack driving his limo perfectly through buildings, over roads, around people, over holes, dodging vehicles, what have you, while the world is ending. Apparently he had some type of Chuck Norris/Alex Trebeck un-killable/smartest man ever thing working in his favor.
There's more, trust me... but the context of this text is slowly but surely turning into a rambling rage.

And…the Length: It was so freaking long! Why was it so long? Why!? It wouldn't end! Kinda like this review. One bad thing leads to another it seems. You can't even say that this movie was so bad it was good, it was simply so bad it put you in a bad mood. And it did it for an extra hour than it needed to. Two and 1/2 hours, really!?

OK, enough with the negativity, let's say something nice. We're all human and make mistakes right? K, here goes...
1: no matter how bad this movie was, John Cusack is still awesome, really... he didn't ruin this movie, that was the bad script.
2: Danny Glover actually does a good job acting, and Woodly Harrelson was OK too. No comment on Oliver Platt however.
3: the special effects were really cool, but we already knew that.
4: Nope. No four.

Independence Day, Armageddon, By Dawn's Early Light, Terminator (arguably all 4), 12 Monkeys: all good 'end of the world' type movies? And why?... cause they actually have good stories! Why do so many new films feel the need to be successful solely based on action scenes with no plot and a very weak (at best) storyline!? It's depressing.

Maybe the Mayans got their dates mixed up and they were trying to warn us about November 13th, 2009 about the movie 2012, not about the actual date itself.


  • Dave Shelter 4 years ago

    This was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I thought it would be an accumulation of events. Political, economic, and natural. All through out the movie you question validity of things, like tsunamis that rise into 15,000 foot mountains, the whole movie just seemed so bogus. Why are movies getting so unrealistic. Is it we are so gullible now we believe this stuff? This was nothing more than "The Day After Tomorrow". Can someone produce a good movie, wow I miss the days of Red October.

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