The 53rd Grammy Awards will air tonight, Sunday, February 13, 2011. With the exception of Lady Antebellum, the list of nominees contains exactly no one with whom your parents are aware. Well, your parents may not be as uncool as all that. If you are over the age of fifteen, you likely don't know most of the artists either.
Katy Perry is someone everyone knows; her name, face and songs are everywhere. She is also all over the list of 2011 Grammy Award Nominees. Unfortunately for the brilliantly marketed, doubtfully talented Miss Perry, she faces Lady Gaga in every category for which she is nominated. Lotsa luck.
Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary (the one made out of paper; yeah, I'm old) defines a kamikaze as a member of the Japanese air attack corps assigned to make a suicidal crash on a target. I don't want to say anything insensitive here, but if I have to listen to "California Gurls" one more time, I'm going to enlist in the JASDF.
1oz Ciroc Vodka
1oz triple sec
1oz lime juice
Combine all ingredients in shaker over ice. Shake with anger as you watch Snoop Dog, an artist whom you once respected, take the stage and alienate his remaining fans. Pour into glass. Consume every time Katy Perry wins an award. Remember, she is up against Lady Gaga, and know you will be safe to drive home.
Ciroc Vodka is a brought to you in part by the similarly brilliant marketing giant, Sean "Diddy" Combs. Not nominated for any awards this year, Diddy should win as many awards as Katy Perry and everyone going against Lady Gaga. We're repeating ourselves, sure, but you must understand what a landslide this is likely to be. I wonder how many different meat dresses Lady Gaga is going to wear.
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