2009 Kings Island Halloween Haunt Report

 See Also: Halloween Haunt RIP Tour...Worth the Cash?

(See the 2010 Halloween Haunt Review)

The Kings Island Halloween Haunt is often considered the premiere destination for immersive Halloween thrills. The spirit of frightful fun takes over the entire park, so there are screams around every corner whether you are in line for a haunt or not. I brought three experienced Halloween fanatics with me on an RIP tour to scream and cringe our way through all eleven haunts. Here are reviews of each haunt, as well as immediate reactions to each maze from our panel of victims.

Slaughter House

My own impressions of the Slaughter House were oddly amused. It was our first haunt of the night, so we were pumped and ready to jump in. The helpful butcher at the maze entrance was so congenial that I kind of wanted to hang around and help him with a few scares. He may have been covered in guts, but what a friendly smile.

The hanging meat at the beginning of the maze gave me the giggles, which I couldn’t contain throughout the maze. This one had scenes of cannibalism and gore, but the actors were so enthusiastically chiming ’Are you hungry?!’ that it was difficult to take any of it seriously.

Toward the end of the maze, a barnyard set the scene for one actor to tackle a life-sized rubber cow in the hay. A pen that should have contained live goats (the goats were unavailable that night) had a pair of comically over-stuffed cows in their place. The scariest thing about this maze was my personal doubts. Is it wrong that I laughed all the way through that?

Adam: “Slaughter House was good. I loved how you pushed through all the packs of meat.”

Sarah: “Slaughter house was good because of all the props. The props were scary, but the people were really quite friendly.”

Todd: "Loved all the meat hanging out all over the place. A vegetarian's nightmare, and the actors were on top of their game."

Cornstalkers

This one might be best for those who don’t enjoy being startled. The scariest roamers in this maze are the burlap sack monsters, who make an effort to lurk in the shadows until the opportune moment. Once the first few have jumped out, you get the idea and keep a lazy eye out for more sack baddies.

Adam: “They blended into the corn, you couldn’t tell they were there. With all the fog, they were invisible. They weren‘t scary enough, though.

Sarah: “There was a lot of energy. They tried real good but looked like potato sacks.”

Todd: “I’m just not very scared of corn. They startled you, but that was about it. Let’s go ride Invertigo.”

Club Blood

This is one of the more infamous mazes among Halloween haunt fans, and I’m guessing it’s because sex sells. Scare-wise, this one isn‘t exactly creepy.

The go-go dancing ghouls were mildly entertaining, but only because we heard from a staffer that some of these were former Boomerang Bay lifeguards. I’ll never look at them the same way when they tell me to sit in the correct position on a water slide. Best imagery here was the cannibal dancer and a group effort to cheer on the ghoulish dominatrix. Not one you want to tour if you’re a parent taking teens to the Haunt...awkward.

Adam: “The best part was Count Bitchula, because we got to scream ‘Yeah, hit him!’. Sexy, not scary.

Sarah: “It just wasn’t scary.”

Todd: “There were hot chicks, but I was like, ‘Wait a minute, is she underage?’ Now that‘s scary.”

Massacre Manor

Don’t expect to find the line queue that was here last year. The Scrambler is back in place and the Manor is harder to notice from the Coney Island drag.  The neon skull & crossbones sign is only visible for patrons walking from the Eiffel Tower side, but you can get to the line from Coney Island if you walk around the Scrambler.

This is one of the best themed mazes, and it’s hard to hate a good old fashioned haunted house anyway. The psychotic ‘Emily’ appears in painted portraits throughout the house, and the same scare actor has a surprise for you in a grand finale room at the end. The scare actors told us to ‘Watch out for Emily’ throughout the house, and we found ourselves chiming in to call for her. This one was highly enjoyable due to the actors, consistent theme and special-effects rooms like the haunted closet.

Adam: “My favorite so far of the night. The actors were good and I was scared a few times.”

Sarah: “Emily!”

Todd: “I thought there were dull moments when there were mechanical props and no people jumping out.”

Death Row

If you’re scared of mirrors, strobe lights and chain link fencing, then this one is absolutely terrifying. At the very end of the maze you’ll be ready track down a dead inmate just so they’ll show you the way out.  Death Row attempts to be ultimately disorienting, but it mostly makes you want to unplug the siren and head for the exit. This haunt is right next to the Trail of Terror entrance, which is more worth the wait in line.

Adam: “We got lost at the end and it just became annoying instead of scary.”

Sarah: “They tried, I guess, but it wasn’t that scary. The strobe lights got on my nerves and most of the inmates were behind fencing. The alarm was so loud and the lights so distracting that it was hard to be scared of anyone.”

Todd: “Well… there was a lot of fog, anyway.”

Trail of Terror

A haunted trail is a good Halloween tradition, and the Trail of Terror is a must-see for many Haunt guests. The creepiness of the woods offers lots of scare possibilities, because you never know where the next scare actor is going to emerge from the trees. Like all haunted trails, this one featured a pack of chainsaw-wielding malcontents and scenes of hasty burials. Original elements include the gang of creepy doll-obsessed girls and rows of spooky port-o-johns. One perk is that Firehawk fans can get a rare up-close glimpse of the coaster track while waiting in line for this haunt.

Adam: “That one was pretty good. The woods makes it easy for them to sneak up on you.”

Sarah: “The doll girls were creepy. I hate chainsaw guys and they didn’t stop following us!”

Todd: “Just like in real life, the port-o-potties were scary.”

Urgent Scare

This year, the Urgent Scare line queue stops before the scenes of overturned shopping carts and fiery wreckage that litters the area in front of the hospital (Sponge Bob’s theater). The creepiest scare of my night was here- a lone female figure dragging a pipe without saying a word as the ominous soundtrack of riotous crowds played overhead.  There is something to be said for those slow, silent spooks.

Urgent Scare has a few surprise updates this year, and be sure to stop by the photo booth after you’ve been inoculated to catch your group photo. There are mentions of H1N1 by some of the scare actors, so if you know someone who has been affected by swine flu you might be offended by these comments.

Adam: “The first room was cool, and the special effects in there were good.”

Sarah: “That one was scary. I like the way it combined indoor and outdoor areas.”

Todd: “The entry room was new this year. I really wasn’t expecting that. Urgent Scare was definitely better than last year.”

Cut Throat Cove

The atmosphere on Cut Throat Cove was enjoyable, even through the line queue littered with skeleton parts and giant spiders. This one is more nautical than scary, but there are a lot of pirate fans out there that will thoroughly enjoy it. I won’t give away some of the best scare spots, but I’ll just say the wenches have it. They’re also mighty suggestive, so skip this one if you’re uncomfortable walking through with tweens.

(In pirate accents)

Adam: “I liked the ladies, they had the best scare.”

Sarah: "It were a mighty good time. Arrr. Mostly just really piratey, but fun.”

Todd: “I thought it was awfully scary. There were some scantily-clad women in there, so that helps.’

Cemetery Drive

 Located at the site of the former Paramount star walk, I thought that this haunt had a lot of great atmosphere. Large tombstones were a little obvious as hiding spots, but scenery of funeral proceedings made up for these. The actors seemed to each have their own method of zombie acting, with some moving slowly and others bursting with energy.

Adam: “They needed more of them in groups, yeah, they needed more people in there.”

Sarah: “It was okay, but do zombies yell that much?”

Todd: “Zombies aren’t scary if they’re jumping out screaming at you. The best were the ones that moved slowly and followed for a while. There really should have been groups that came after you. Outnumbering is what makes zombies so scary.”

 Tombstone Terror-Tory

We didn’t get to try this one due to the rain pouring down on opening night. If it were anything similar to last year, this one offers a short train ride into the woods where the train ‘breaks down’. There weren’t any scares while disembarking from the train, except for the frightening second line queue. Another line? Ahh!

After standing in the second wait area, guests were taken along the White Water Canyon exit boardwalk amid dead cowboys and bloodied frontier townspeople. They jump from behind predictable crates and barrels to repeatedly ask you why they were killed. If you went through this haunt in 2009, please leave a comment below to be added to this article. I wasn’t impressed last year, so I hope this one has improved.

KI Central Haunt buff Kevin had this to say about Tombstone Terror-Tory: "This one was pretty good. It's very long, with many crates, which are obvious hiding places for dead cowboys. Although there are also some pretty good scares, like the guy jumping down from the rafters of the bridge. It's pretty good, but not 'Trail of Terror' good."

CarnEvil

This haunt was new for me this year, as I came last year with a person who is deathly afraid of clowns and wouldn‘t go through. (It’s my sister Emily. There, I outed her.) This one proved to be the most entertaining maze of the night for me, and I’m sorry I hadn’t enjoyed it in past years. For those expecting this one to be in Coney Island, you’ll need to take a hike over to Nickelodeon Universe to find this haunted gem.

The CarnEvil maze is one of the most immersive. Guests are given Halloween Haunt 3D glasses before entering (a good souvenir for scrapbook fodder) which activate not only the elaborate environment, but also makeup on the actor’s faces. From floor to ceiling, every part of this circus world is stretched and popping all at once, making this an experience you won’t soon forget. It’s the kind of maze that your group gets out of and then stands at the exit, yelling at each other about the different parts you thought were the coolest.

Adam: “The tunnel at the end was just crazy. It blew the other mazes out of the water.”

Sarah: “Forget the clowns, I was too busy looking around at the walls with the blacklight glasses on. It was cool just getting into every different hallway.

Todd:  “The guys in there were really hard to see, so it was easy to get startled.  Sometimes it was hard to tell if someone was real or fake.”

Thanks to our three lovely guinae pigs for enduring shrieks and the occasional roving zombie. Each destination at the Kings Island Halloween Haunt was unique in style and scare factor. There are plenty of indoor and outdoor mazes to get you startled and screaming, so you're in for a night of fear no matter which path you take. See the Halloween Haunt RIP Tour Review for more on the haunt.

Do you have a review of the Halloween Haunt? Post a comment below to let us know what you think.

(See the 2010 Halloween Haunt Review)

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