True crime can be a lot stranger than what you see on “Law & Order” or “CSI.” And some of the things that criminals have been quoted as saying are just as strange as the crimes they commit. In Criminal Quotes: The 1,001 Most Bizarre Things Ever Said by History's Outlaws, Gangsters, Despots and Other Evil-Doers, Andrew Chesler and H. Amanda Robb used true crime books and newspaper reports to compile an interesting book of quotations from notorious scofflaws. Here are 15 not-so-smooth quotes uttered by some of the criminals featured in the book.
1. “I don't think I commit any sin in robbing a person of quality because I keep generally pretty close to the text "Feed the hungry and send the rich away empty.’”
–Richard Dudley, a murderer and thief in Britian who targeted upper-class victims
2. “I didn't invent sex, nobody had to come to my apartment who didn't want to. I was really doing them a favor.”
–Pearl Adler, a New York City madam.
3. "It was in the Christmas spirit. It makes me happy."
–David Bullock, who killed a man over a Christmas tree
4. “I’ve never made a mistake in my life.”
–Raymond Leslie Morris, an English child murder
5. “I don’t need this aggravation.”
–Tommy Agro, a mob hit man being questioned by the FBI
6. “Why don’t you get up and stop faking?”
–Mildred Mary Bolton, who said this after she shot her husband six times
7. “Killing mice.”
–Mary Eleanor Pearcey, trying to explain blood found in her house after she killed a woman there
8. “Is every smoking chimney and every bad smell proof that a body is being burned?”
–Henri Desire Landru, a French murderer who burned his victims’ bodies in his home
9. “The boxes were marked ‘poison.’ That was all I needed to know.”
–Christa Ambros Lehmann, who fed her friend poison chocolates and claimed she just wanted to make her sick
10. “Oh no! How did she die?”
–Robert Chambers, “The Preppie Murderer” in New York City as he was being told about the death of the woman he killed
11. “I hate to tell you this but I've been robbing banks for a year and a half.”
–William Liebscher, Jr., who told this to his unsuspecting wife after he was arrested
12. “What—is there anything left to be buried?”
–Frederick Small, who killed his wife and set fire to their home
13. “You know, we got a lot of laundry bags at the shop. You don’t sign up with us, you’re gonna be in one of them bags.”
–Louis Amberg, a mobster pitching his laundry service
14. “Don’t go to sleep ‘cause I’m going to kill you.”
–Ricky Briscoe, who said this before setting his girlfriend on fire
15. “I bite.”
–Jeffrey Dahmer
(Source: Chesler, Andrew & Robb, H. Amanda. (1996). Criminal Quotes: The 1,001 Most Bizarre Things Ever Said by History's Outlaws, Gangsters, Despots and Other Evil-Doers. Gale Cengage.)
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