Many couples go into marriage with a very unrealistic set of ideas regarding marriage. This isn’t their fault. It is the way of love. Romance and physical attraction can be so overwhelming that couples believe there is absolutely nothing that could possibly interfere with their love for one another.
Then reality sets in, and the couple is left wondering what happened to their relationship.
Every couple needs to have a relationship reality check before making the decision to walk down the aisle. Here are some relationship truths that need to be known.
-Some of the things you find endearing about your partner may one day drive you crazy. Your spouse’s spontaneity may be exciting to you now, but when he brings home his boss for dinner without more than 30 minutes notice, you may not be so happy. You may think it is cute that your boyfriend is a bit possessive toward you, but when that turns into control you may find yourself wondering how you got into such a relationship.
-Sex and romance are not the most important parts of your relationship. As a matter of fact, when you grow older, sex may become a very small part of your relationship. Age, stress, and health issues can all wreak havoc on sexual desire. Romance tends to wane the longer you are together unless you make it a priority.
-Friendship is the most important part of your relationship. If you are not friends before anything else, then don’t get married. Period.
-Marriage is not a 50-50 proposition. It is a 100 percent proposition. You give 100 percent, and do not keep score on who gives more. It will never be even. There will be times when you give more. There will be times when your spouse gives more.
-Do not marry your partner based on the way he or she looks. Those looks will change. Weight will be gained or lost. Wrinkles will come. Gray hair will come. This is a fact of life, and if your marriage is based on how attractive your partner is, then one day you will be sorely disappointed.
-The worst is going to happen to you at some point in your marriage…unemployment, financial difficulties, difficulties with in-laws, illness, disability, the death of a child. The list could go on and on. Before you walk down the aisle, imagine the worst possible scenario, and then imagine how supportive you and your partner would be to each other.
-You cannot change your partner. Never get married on the hope of changing your partner into what you want him or her to be. You don’t have the power to change anyone else, and that person has to genuinely want to change. An addict is not going to stop being an addict because you get married. An abuser is not going to stop abusing because you get married.
-Do not marry someone who is abusive to you. Abuse comes in many forms. It can be physical, mental, verbal, or emotional. If your partner does it before you walk down the aisle, it will only get worse after you are married.
-Pay attention to the way your spouse’s family interacts with one another. In a sense, you really do marry your spouse’s family because this is where he learned how to interact with others, treat women, and raise children. Pay attention to any red flags.
-If you have any doubts whatsoever about getting married to your partner, don’t do it until you are sure. Your instincts are God-given and there for a purpose.