There are almost 55 million single people in the United States and nearly 42 million of them have tried online dating. Now, I’m no statistics guru, but that sure looks as if 76 percent of the single population has a profile on at least one, if not several, online dating sites. Because many of my friends are confident, single women who are not afraid to go after what they want, and have therefore tried online dating (with a great success rate, I might add), I asked them for input and they eagerly sent me their worst online dating pickup lines.
These are real messages from real(ly) desperate men. I have only changed the names to protect the innocent. Although, I’m not sure these men would really care if we did in fact know who they actually were. Oh, and I corrected typos because, frankly, I was embarrassed for them and their complete slaughtering of the English language.
- Hi beautiful lady. I would love to get to know you better and become good friends. We can take a trip to the moon together if you’re ready to blast off. Hit me up and say hi.
- You look like you have the passion. It would be so intoxicating.
- I'm a mixed blend of strategic and creative, serious and silly, smart and spiritual, musical and visual, eclectic and polyunsaturated. All of that should be plenty of magnets to draw you to my profile…Look me up and say hi!
- I’m a Yankee. Figured that I’d confess that one right up front.
- I am 29 not 37, like my profile says.
- Check out my lame profile and if it miraculously tweaks your interest, drop me a line sometime. If not, best of luck to ya.
- Do you like going to the races, or would you rather go to a mud park?
- Hello. My name is Larry. I like your profile. I am a single guy living alone. Just thought I'd stop by and say hello.
- Feeling Spontaneous?? Let's compare our Blue Eyes over a Dark Beer!!
- Wow! You are gorgeous! I’m Willy from out of town. We should hang out and see where things go when I’m in town next Tuesday.
Don’t be discouraged if you have been the recipient of such disappointing (yet entertaining) messages from the online dating pool. As I noted above, after weeding out the weirdos, many of my friends have had a great success rate finding true love online.
I’m curious. Have you tried online dating? What were your experiences? Did you get electronically hit on with even worse pickup lines than these? Let me know. I’d love to hear from you. Leave your comments below.