Do you look before you love? Do you pine for a long-term intimate relationship and then when it's time to make the commitment something happens to end it? Valentine's Day is a good time to re-evaluate the subliminal messages you send to yourself preventing the psychological commitment to this ultimate goal.
The way we relate to others can contribute greatly to our overall happiness. Our homes can tell many stories about our own ability to commit and have harmonious relationships. This definitely gives new meaning to the phrase, if walls could talk. Walls do talk and so does the furniture placement in our homes.
Measure your home by the following check list and see if you are ready for a long-term relationship:
- Seating in gathering spaces in your home should be positioned at right angles to allow for ease of conversation. Seating across from each other promotes confrontation and should not be present when building a new relationship.
- Artwork depicting two of anything. Solitary symbols promote solitary lifestyles.
- Flower arrangements, preferably fresh, or plants you nurture. When you nurture nature, you nurture yourself.
- Game table or space for interaction with another person or a group makes one feel at ease by offering other distractions to reduce anxiety while getting acquainted.
- Recent photos of family members or friends smiling and having fun. These types of symbols tell others you are open to a relationship.
- Small vignettes on the kitchen counter or dining table such as basket of cheese and bread with a bottle of wine, a bowl of grapes or other fruits to entice the taste buds of those who spend time with you. This lets them know you have compassion for others and are willing to share it.
- Aromatic bath salts and plush towels in the bathroom invite nurturing of yourself. This says to a visitor that you have a comfortable sensuality about you, nurturing your mind, body and spirit.
- Make room in your closet or dresser drawers for another. Having cluttered closets and over packed bureau drawers speaks loud and clear that there is no room for another in your life.
- Having a well manicured threshold to your home that flows into a clean uncluttered entry invites others to visit you more often. Excess clutter at the entry and threshold of your home says to others that they are not special and that you do not consider yourself special either.
- The decor of your home should be ready to engage all the senses. Adding texture to the room such as a throw to the couch engages the tactile senses; ambient lighting and colors delight the sense of sight; mood music entices the hearing; fresh baked bread or other aromatic food hypnotizes the taste buds and triggers the sense of smell connecting us to other pleasant memories.
If these elements or elements like them are not present in your home in some form or other then you may not be ready to look for love. If you want to learn more about how to change your home environment to invite others into your life check out Feng Shui and How to Look Before You Love, by Nancilee Wydra.