Do you feel like the unwelcome third wheel in an animated conversation between two friends? Do you perceive yourself as banished to loneliness, excluded from the clique? Does going to a party or event where you don’t know anyone fill you with dread? The root cause for this social stress is self-doubt, in other words a lack of self-confidence. And even if you happen to be the Queen Bee or the CEO of a major company, a stressor, a failure, or a significant setback can tip you over the edge where you lose your self-confidence and so, your status.
Lonely people don’t need support groups with other lonely people, or be told to go out there and mingle. They need to cultivate self-esteem, creating a more positive self-perception in relationship to others. If you are lonely, reconnect with yourself – enjoy your own company. Create a presence which will attract others to your side.
Typical situations which make you experience self-doubt:
* A friend cancels plans with you without giving a reason
* A person you are having lunch with looks at his or her watch
* You didn’t get invited to a neighbor’s party
* No one complimented your new outfit or haircut
* During a difference of opinion you don’t like to express yourself
* Your top priority is to be considered a good person by everyone
* When you are criticized, your body alerts you with various aches and pains like a stomach ache or a bad taste in your mouth
* You could be having a great day, but the one thing which goes wrong occupies your attention
10 easy tips for popularity:
- Act as if and you will soon play the part of a confident connector. Wear a fabulous accessory, pump yourself up with a workout, or remind yourself of a previous victory; remember all the world is a stage.
- Move your shoulders back and down because posture affects perception. This will create a good spinal alignment, release stress and open your heart to others. What could be better than these confidence boosters to have a successful meeting of the minds?
- Tune into others, make eye contact and smile in appreciation. If you want others to be interested in you, you must demonstrate interest in them.
- Cheerlead yourself into a positive mood in order not to be a Debbie Downer. Instead of thinking, “I don’t want to be here,” imagine how much fun you will have.
- Cultivate a special something about yourself - give off positive vibes like making positive statements as simple as a warm greeting or wishing someone a great day. Others will notice, “You have such good energy.”
- If you want or need compliments to feel better, compliment others – genuinely. To attract love, become more loving.
- Become a great listener, and you will be described as a great conversationalist.
- Prepare a witty anecdote or a few humorous remarks to use as ice breakers in new situations. Rehearsal creates a sense of familiarity.
- If you happen to be rejected, move on. Everyone doesn’t have to like you. And truthfully, you don’t like everyone either.
- Asking questions is a great idea, but don’t become an interrogator. Share a few details from your own life.
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