Kali Kiger and Sam
Today we have the pleasure of speaking with Kali Kiger of www.ponypros.net. We started by discussing the importance of respecting space when training horses, and Kali shared so much more about the artistic nature of horsemanship.
We often hear talk about making animals respect our space. But then most people don't think twice about invading an animal's space. How does it affect a horse when a person pushes into the horse's personal space?
When a person pushes into a horse’s space, that behavior has an emotional impact on the horse. It can cause him to feel defensive or safe, unstable or grounded, or to experience any number of emotions. Therefore, we must make a decision about what change we are trying to affect and approach the space carrying that feeling. Why must he “stay out of our space”? Often times, it’s because we are living in times of ease, rather than activity, or because we are living in times of observation versus reaction. Before you ask your horse to change, you must determine the emotional pattern you wish to cultivate.
Is this what you mean by EQxpressionism?
In 2009 I coined the term EQxpressionism (“equestrian expressionism”) for the type of training I do. EQxpressionism is about developing two-way communication with the horse through facial expressions in order to practice horsemanship as artistic expression. Our modality has the added benefit of creating greater self-awareness, because it allows us to learn about the dynamic relationship between gestures and internal climate. EQxpressionsim is the combination of natural horsemanship and clicker training. Rather than being based in overt body language and the patterns of wild horses, it’s based on facial expressions and the patterns of domestic horses. I have always found natural horsemanship to be a little bit crude, and clicker training to be a little bit nongenerative, but with a little twist, the two combine really well. EQxpressionsim focuses on creating art, rather than on assuming everyone has the same horse dream. What you create is the unique expression of you and your horse.
Kali Kiger expressing herself to her horse.
An EQxpressionist looks at facial expressions and learns to see the underlying emotional state. Pushiness, for example, is the manifestation of an unstable emotional climate, and is an unproductive behavior in any setting, whether band, flock, herd, menagerie, family, or business. When you push on your horse, what you are saying to him is, “In this herd, we push on others.” Even if you are initiating it, whatever behavior happens most becomes a pattern and is integrated into the cultural undersigning of the group. Reason being, whatever emotional state happens most becomes status quo. Therefore, the more you push on your horse, the pushier he will become, because the emotional climate you are creating says, “We are living in times of ‘push.’”
The idea of learning to read the horse’s facial expressions and to integrate your understanding of his emotions seems intimidating.
What we don’t realize, though, is that we are already doing it without intending to, so we might as well learn to do it consciously. Humans have evolved alongside horses for hundreds of years. The ability to read horses is natural. I also believe most animals exhibit facial tension and releases that are recognizable to most and that we can gain at least a functional understanding of their meanings very quickly. Here is one video I made about how, if we look closely, horse facial expressions and human facial expressions really aren’t all that different. Once you begin to look for facial expressions, you naturally begin to discover their meanings, because emotional patterns are evidenced by behaviors and gestures.
View Kali's videos that demonstrate the similarities betweens humans' and horses' facial expressions:
- Afraid / Wary http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hmt7R9gZ0A
- Happy / Content http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBGhrorIGv0
So how does EQxpressionism relate to respecting space in the human-equine relationship?
When you are not communicating with your horse through facial expressions about his and your own internal space, pushing your horse out of your space is kind of like screaming at your child to go to his room. What was your first question when you got sent to your room as a child? “Why? Why do I have to go to my room?”
You were probably sent to your room because you were making a scene by being angry, crying, or just plain obnoxious. Your parents told you to quiet down, cool off, and you could come back out when you were “done.” What did they say when they came to get you? “You can join us, but only if you’re willing to act like a member of this family,” or in other words, to comport yourself with respect to the standards deemed acceptable by the herd. My mom was very clever in raising me. She went to her room and locked me out. I received the same message, but even more directly - “Mom doesn’t want to be around me. If I want to be around Mom, I better pay attention to how she’s acting and act that way too.”
The first scenario does get the message across to the child, but the second message is much clearer, and its meaning extends far beyond the singular situation. Instead of the child being set up to want to barge out of his room, it sets him up to want to figure out how to get the parent to join him. Just like children, horses don’t need to get told to get back. They need to be told to get together. I like to remember the song from the old Parent Trap (1961) when working with my horse:
"Let's Get Together" lyrics at end of article.
I see - you turn it around by giving the horse all the space so that instead of wanting to get away from you he wants to get together with you.
Many schoolteachers are masters of togetherness. They travel with 35 kids and somehow get everyone there in one piece in a good mood 90% of the time. You can sometimes spot a good teacher by the way she has the class circle up. Some teachers say, “Spread out and make a circle.” Inevitably there is squabbling over who gets to stand where and by whom. Kids bunch up on one side and lollygag around on the other side, making an amoeba rather and a circle. Then everyone ends up looking disobedient and unobservant.
When a clever teacher wants a circle, she says, “Everyone hold hands. Now back up until you are an arm’s width apart.” In those situations, the teacher conveys to everyone that they were entitled to, and need, their own space for this particular exercise. Because you start out holding hands, you start out together. When you let go of hands, you all have your own space, together. You aren’t separated. You are together and separate. Holding hands exemplifies working from a space of togetherness to create something greater. The alternative is trying to bring disparate parts together as individuals.
An EQxpressionist interacts with the horse with the intent of making art together. The desire is to create a life of ambience. Facial expressions are the tools and equestrian expression is the medium.
Kali, thank you for an excellent interview. Your perspective on horse training is so refreshing, and you are way wise beyond your years! With young adults like you teaching our next generation of equestrians, I know Frank Bell was correct when he said "we are entering the golden age of the horse."
- Kali Kiger offers programs for horse-loving individuals of all ages.
- Kali also operates a program for kids and kids-at-heart, PonyPros.
- Visit PonyPros YouTube channel for many free instructional videos.
- Educational materials available at http://ponypros.net/booksanddvds.php
- To start your journey as an EQxpressionist, please join the EQxpressionist’s Facebook group.
- For additional info on transfer of experience from horses to life, Kali suggests reading her husband's lifestyle artisanship book, Equuality by Les Kiger.
- Please contact Kali directly at kali@ponypros.net if you would like more information on her theories and approach. Kali offers online coaching as well as occasional workshops.
Lyrics of "Let's Get Together" from the Parent Trap, music and lyrics by Richard M. and Robert B. Sherman, sung by Hayley Mills
Let's get together, yeah yeah yeah.
Why don't you and I combine?
Let's get together, what do you say?
We can have a swinging time.
We'd be a crazy team.
Why don't we make a scene? Together.
oh, oh, oh, oh
Let's get together, yeah yeah yeah.
Think of all that we could share.
Let's get together, everyday
Every way and everywhere.
And though we haven't got a lot,
We could be sharing all we've got. Together.
Oh! I really think you're swell.
Uh huh! We really ring the bell.
Oo wee! And if you stick with me
Nothing could be greater, say hey, alligator.
Let's get together, yeah yeah yeah.
Two is twice as nice as one.
Let's get together, right away.
We'll be having twice the fun.
And you can always count on me.
A gruesome twosome we will be.
Together, yeah yeah yeah.
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