The Church of Satan: public relations

"While the herd trudges around in circles, the Satanist flies straight to the source."

I attempted to contact the Church of Satan since they have made it very clear on their official website that visiting and attending ceremonies, rituals, and gatherings are out of the question. Emails are responded by an automated message, copied and pasted from their website, but the phone number listed publicly for the church was somewhat successful.

Although a disclaimer can be found on the site about phone calls left without responses, an effort has been made to create a portrayal of the group as a recorded message on the answering system; this image is however very different from the way The CoS’s doctrine has been explained to the public.

Rightfully hesitant, I called. The “receptionist” expressed his plans of rape and murder in an almost mocking voice for about 4 minutes. The monologue was very detailed and graphic, making it easy for the caller to believe his intentions. Young women were demanded to offer themselves and policemen were threatened. After the second minute it becomes evident that the message is staged and jokingly improvised. Yet I truly hope they don’t have caller ID.