Commentary - Stephanie Esworthy: The ‘folks’ prefer straight talk

With centrifugal force, they succeed in spinning out and removing every scintilla of nastiness on any issue that might stick and become controversial for their candidate. We’re left with the watery pabulum of comforting buzzwords, wondering whether we’ll be able to cut through the pettifoggery and find out what candidates really intend to do. Usually, we don’t find out until they’re elected. We’ve all had past hard lessons that make us feel like Schulz’s Charlie Brown lying on the ground after believing once again that Lucy would hold that football in place. Yet admit it or not, we love the dance and want to “Believe, Hon,” as candidates strut before us like curry-combed racehorses. The best we can do is catch hints, however subtle, of what may be in store for us down the road; little wisps of information from which you might extrapolate something.

A couple of examples: John Edwards campaigns on the issue of poverty. Struggling retired farmer Monty Johnson lives directly across from his estate. According to Johnson, over the years Edwards routinely ignored him and turned his face away while jogging. “He doesn’t pull over and say, ‘How are you doing?’ ” Mitt Romney cheerfully admitted that he tied his Irish setter’s carrier to the roof of his car with the rest of the vacation luggage, and was shocked over the ensuing fuss, claiming Seamus “loves it.” Even Aunt Edna had to be dead before Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold tied her to the car roof in “Summer Vacation.”

Local politicians have had differing styles. Former Mayor, Gov. and Comptroller William Donald Schaefer practiced no-spin bluntness, sometimes to his detriment. Mayor Clarence “Du” Burns, who followed Schaefer, not only didn’t spin but also was too modest about his extensive accomplishments. Was it widely known that he was brilliantly effective, pushing through all of the legislation to create the Inner Harbor?

Mayor Kurt L. Schmoke delegated and trusted aides to speak for him. Some with dazzling resumes began to disappoint. Instead of giving up on them, he supposed that more education and training in how to say pleasing things might change a dazed disposition. One example was a director of recreation and Parks who had an ironic dislike for green, growing things. So the perky spring daffodils were ordered mowed down after having been planted lovingly in the Northern Parkway median strip, at great expense by an organization called Beautiful Baltimore.

Not expecting the total outrage and bad publicity that followed, this director then spun the excuse to The Baltimore Sun that it was necessary because criminals often hid in median strip daffodils waiting to spring upon victims. Where to cure such a blatant habit of bad blathering? Mayor Schmoke sent this director to take a course in how to be a better explainer, at no less a prestigious bastion of everything that is well spun than The Harvard Kennedy School of Government. The director returned all a-twitter with new defenses from that ultimate think tank. Flipping pages of copious notes, the director summarized: If you’re the party in power, never use the negative words “bad,” “problem” or “crisis” on a nervous public. Soothe them with words like “improving,” “situation” or “issue.” With animals, don’t say “kill.” We “cull” and “harvest” those pesky deer. Refer to all people as “folks.” You can differentiate between “regular folks” and “special folks.” Above all, keep hammering home that we are “moving forward in a positive fashion,” that “new taxes” are “revenue enhancements” and we’ll “do more with less.” When desperate, bring up “working families” and throw in that sure phrase that none dare criticize, “for the children!” Well my ruffled feathers certainly would be smoothed. Never mind the “fat,” but thanks, Harvard, for the “dumb and happy.”

Stephanie Esworthy was director of media and public relations and the Baltimore City Film Commission for former Mayors William Donald Schaefer and the late Clarence “Du” Burns and served as head of Baltimore City’s Bureau of Music in every city administration since Mayor Theodore R. McKeldin. Her personal experiences in local politics started in the early 1950s as the daughter of state’s attorney and chief judge of the Circuit Court for Baltimore City, Anselm Sodaro, now deceased. She may be reached at steph21093@verizon.net.