What’s with men who date only younger women?

BALTIMORE (Map, News) - And almost everyone has pet peeves — especially dating pet peeves. This week, Dan and Joan hold no punches.

Joan: Mine is men who refuse to date women their age or a year or two older. I have had matchmaking clients who have actually said, “Why should I date a woman my age when I can get a woman younger?” Women are not commodities on a stock exchange that men can just “get.”

Dan: One of my male relatives claims that men have “a range” of about 10 to 12 years in terms of women they are eligible “to get.” Not an enlightened view, true, but blame biology. Men are preprogrammed to seek out younger women because of the drive to reproduce, whether the man has an interest in having children or not. My biggest dating pet peeve is women who stake a claim to a man 10 minutes after meeting him.

Joan: Explain.

Dan: I’ve noticed there are some women, who consider you “engaged to be engaged” in way too short of time. Perhaps it’s today’s “now, now, now” society, but it seems some folks want to skip the dating and go right into the relationship. For me, it can take months to trust and truly love someone, and during that time I am open to meeting others.

Joan: Do you tell these women that you will be dating other people?

Dan: It’s not the first thing out of my mouth, as that can be construed as meaning “I’m just playing the field,” which is not my intent. Once I decide someone is the one, I don’t date others.

Joan: I disagree based on talking with a lot of women I’ve matched. Many women don’t assume that when they’re dating a man that he’s dating other women. So I would be very honest with the woman, especially if you’ve gone out with her more than two or three times.

Dan: The key in your response is “after two or three times.” That’s fine. I do chuckle thinking of how comedian Chris Rock notes that men are about as faithful as their options. Again, perhaps it’s that built-in drive to reproduce that sends men out to connect with as many women as possible. Women do this too; some of my favorite femme fatales have confessed enjoying the adulation of multiple suitors. Some are good about sharing this information. Others, not so much.

Dan Collins is a terminally single 40-something writer and local PR maven. Joan Allen is a noted matchmaker extraordinaire and author of “Celebrating Single and Getting Love Right: From Stalemate to Soulmate.”

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