‘Grinches’ vs. ‘Santa’s Helpers’ in the ‘War on Christmas’

If it’s December, it’s time for the “War on Christmas.”

The conservative Culture and Media Institute — dedicated to preserving and restoring “America’s culture, character, traditional values, and morals against the assault of the liberal media elite” — has broken down the issue for you by releasing its first annual Christmas Lists of Santa’s Helpers and Grinches.

Naturally, Christmas Fan No. 1 Bill O’Reilly earns his spot on the list of Santa’s Helpers, along with such other notable Christmas cheerleaders as the Hallmark Channel, the University of Texas Young Conservatives and The Fellowship of Christian Athletes club at Mount Vernon High School in Alexandria.

But what about the Grinches? After all, wouldn’t Santa want those on the naughty list to have a chance to explain themselves? So Yeas & Nays reached out to some of the list’s “Grinches” to give them a chance to stick up for themselves.

There were the staunch defenders:

“We acknowledge that Christmas is in December. … But we say ‘Happy Holidays’ to include all of our customers regardless of which holiday they may celebrate.” – Lisa Erickson, Eddie Bauer company spokeswoman.

Then the deniers:

“We absolutely say ‘Merry Christmas.’ We are a huge proponent of Christmas. All of our employees say ‘Merry Christmas.’” – Maureen Rich, Lowe’s Home Improvement spokeswoman.

And finally, the downright insulted:

“We never took any babies out of any mangers or anything else. But when it was drawn to my attention that there was no baby, I made sure we got a baby in the manger. … I’m getting all sorts of letters from fine Christians and hate mail from people who don’t really know what took place here. … I’ve got faxes on my desk probably a half-inch thick and Christmas cards from people saying that I won’t get to heaven.” – Dick Callaway, mayor, St. Albans, W.Va.

Bah humbug, everybody.

The doctor is out

About half of his colleagues took their seats in the Senate chamber for Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist’s, R-Tenn., farewell address on Thursday — more than do so at almost any other time.

Not that all their attentions held fast during their leader’s 25-minute address. Sen. Gordon Smith, R-Ore., spent much of the time checking his BlackBerry. Sen. Chuck Grassley, R-Iowa, appeared to be asleep for several minutes before checking his. Sen. George Voinovich, R-Ohio, armed with several sheets of paper spread out on his desk, seemed to be either taking notes or drafting a speech of his own.

Speaking of desks, Frist led off by telling the crowd — which included his family in the gallery, House Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Ill., on the floor and Vice President Dick Cheney in the presiding chair — that he “slipped in” to the chamber “about two months ago, on a late Sunday afternoon when no one was around … to carry out a time-honored tradition, nearly as old as this institution itself.”

That is, he carved his initials into his desk, alongside those of Everett Dirksen, Howard Baker, Robert Taft and Trent Lott, who have all sat there.

“Your name carved deeply into the bottom of the oak drawer is the only thing permanent that one leaves around this place,” he said.

He said of his pledge to serve only two terms, “Bittersweet though it may be, it is right.”

While his colleagues were giving Frist a standing ovation, we couldn’t help but notice the absence of the 2008 front runners from the tribute: Sens. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., Barack Obama, D-Ill., and John McCain, R-Ariz.

Black Caucus, guests pack theater for ‘Dreamgirls’

The hottest ticket in town Wednesday night was for an exclusive screening of the most talked-about movie of this holiday season.

A VIP crowd, including actor Danny Glover and several members of the Congressional Black Caucus, flocked to the Landmark E Street Cinema for the D.C. premiere of the Motown-inspired musical “Dreamgirls.”

Two separate auditoriums were used to accommodate everyone, and the entire theater was closed to the public for the night.

“I got calls from everyone across Washington from people wanting to be where you are,” Congressional Black Caucus Foundation President Elsie Scott told the assembled crowd.

Glover arrived about a half-hour into the pre-screening reception and played the good sport, posing for countless photos with the guests.

“You were all so cool when you saw him, taking pictures,” joked Rep. Kendrick Meek, D-Fla., before they rolled the film. “But after this movie they’re going to have to send security to get him out of here.”

Glover’s plenty confident in the film’s prospects, as well.

“I believe we’re going to be talking about ‘Dreamgirls’ the same way we talk about ‘The Color Purple’ 20 years from now,” he said.

Maybe that’s why Viacom, the parent company of Paramount, which is releasing the film, was so nervous.

Before the film started, DeDe Lea, head of Viacom’s lobbying shop, informed the crowd that despite their status, the room would nonetheless be swept for recording devices and people with “night vision goggles” would be watching them.

Director receives honor from WWII veterans

In a bit of a twist, George Stevens, the brains behind the Kennedy Center Honors, had to enlist the help of six World War II veterans to honor director Steven Spielberg.

“The honorees don’t know what we’re going to do onstage,” said Stevens, who took questions at Nathans of Georgetown Thursday. The six veterans — including one who defiantly painted a Star of David on his uniform — were in town to surprise Spielberg with a “thank you” at the ceremony on Sunday. But beforehand, they had to get through the White House reception without tipping him off.

“We asked the veterans to be at the White House, but to stay away from Steven,” Stevens said.

When it came time to spring the surprise, “they were very nervous and awkward,” he said, but they performed very well.

Placing him “in the league” of Frank Capra, David Lean and Alfred Hitchcock, Stevens said, “It’s the best ones that have that character.”

Sights and sounds to pick up your spirit

After a tough loss, nothing picks up your spirits quite like the sights and sounds of Broadway. Just ask congressional Republicans, who are raising dough on 42nd Street this weekend.

Tonight, Rep. Vito Fossella, from Staten Island, hosts supporters at a performance of “The Drowsy Chaperone” for only $2,500 per couple. Saturday night, it’s “Mary Poppins.”

Rep. Dave Hobson isn’t from New York, but rather Ohio, yet wouldn’t you know it — he’s offering the same deal. Hobson’s invite doesn’t tell you the price, but it gives the location of the receptions: the legendary Sardi’s tonight and Blue Fin Saturday night.

Not a Broadway fan? How about a cocktail reception for Rep. Bud Shuster, R-Pa., at the world-famous Friar's Club? That’ll only set you back $500 per person.