BALTIMORE (Map, News) - Who has it worse, single men or women?

DAN: If an attractive woman decides she wants to meet a young gentleman, well, let’s just say, a hot apple pie won’t sit on the sill long before Spanky, Froggy and the rest of the little boy-rascals come calling. On the other hand, you can sit Alfalfa at the window all day long without catching Darla’s eye.

JOAN: I disagree. I know a lot of gorgeous women 30 and up who sit at home on Saturday nights dateless.

It can be pretty tough for women, especially with Internet dating sites where male serial daters are only looking for the youngest and most beautiful women “they can get.” Listen to this: I offered to introduce a less-than-average-looking male, 36, to an attractive woman two years his senior, and his answer was, “No, I can still get a woman in her 20s to early 30s.” I returned his money.

DAN: You’ve called me a serial dater and I don’t think that’s fair, as it is unfair to say the same for these men who are supposedly looking for their own Gwyneth Paltrow.

In my case, it’s the desire to find magic and that’s hard to do rummaging through the Internet dating bargain bin, especially with women who think THEY can “get someone better,” richer, taller, more Brad Pitt-ish.

What I resent is this morally superior high ground women aspire to, that somehow it is only these shallow men (boo! hiss!) who are interested in youth, beauty and means while they (cue violin music) are ready to embrace Quasimodo’s hump as long as there’s a heart of gold beating beneath it.

Pardon me while I retch.

JOAN: Well, well. I think I hit a nerve. I tend to agree on this issue with Ken Norris, 51, a single financial services wizard. He says, “The younger the women, the easier it is for them to meet men. The older the men, the easier they have it. A woman in her 20s and 30s, dressed decently, not 50 pounds overweight, sitting at a bar by herself, will have no problem finding a date. My 76-year-old uncle, who you might describe as a nerd, is getting hit on by good-looking women 10 years his junior.”

DAN: The truth can indeed be painful. Though I’m not sure if I buy this “older the guy, the easier they have it” scenario.

That only works if you have the financial stability that one might expect of having survived between the Eisenhower and Bush administrations. Somehow I doubt your uncle would be getting these offers from Bo Derek-types if he was living at the YMCA and drove a Gremlin.

And let’s face it, looking like John Forsythe doesn’t hurt.

Dan Collins is a terminally single 40-something writer and local PR maven. Joan Allen is a noted matchmaker extraordinaire, and author of “Celebrating Single and Getting Love Right: From Stalemate to Soulmate.”

Comments from Examiner Readers

3:09 PM MST on Sat., Mar. 8, 2008 re: "Putting a corporate spin on the dating game"

Examiner Reader said:
Joan, try a valium.

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1:20 PM MST on Tue., Jul. 3, 2007 re: "The perilous world of online dating"

Happy Mom said:
My son went on J-Date last year, connected with a young lady living in Hawaii for a year, started talking long distance and he decided to go visit her (he figured if she didn't work out he knew he would love Hawaii). Long story short, he called 6 days later and said he loved both. They are on their honeymoon right now. My daughter met her husband on same site, he was living in Virginia, but distance didn't seem a problemk. They are now married for 3 years. So sometimes these services do work and make the parents happy to see their children happy!

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7:17 AM MST on Tue., May. 29, 2007 re: "What�s with men who date only younger women?"

Examiner Reader said:
re: "For me, it can take months to trust and truly love someone, and during that time I am open to meeting others." -- I think the ambiguity and potential conflict comes from people who say what you say but are also willing to have sex with the person in the mean time. Many people equate sex with exclusivity. If she does and you don't, there's a problem. Either you have to wait to have sex until you're ready to be exclusive, or she has to be willing to have sex without being exclusive. The problem is no one likes to talk about this until after having sex. ;-)

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