How to clean up Congress

Yeah, yeah: We’ve heard it a thousand times. Washington is Hollywood for ugly people.

But though he might be fighting a losing battle, Pirooz Sarshar, co-owner of that metrosexual mecca the Grooming Lounge, is out to add some glam to the government. Sarshar just released his “Ten Immutable Laws of Good Grooming,” and Yeas & Nays had to wonder whether he had specific politicians in mind when he made some of the rules.

We’ll play the role of Sarshar’s subconscious on this one.

	Sarshar says: “Two Eyebrows Are Better Than One.” Yeas & Nays nominates as inspiration Pennsylvania senatorial candidate Bob Casey.
	Sarshar says: “Wear sunscreen.” Yeas & Nays nominates golden-orange boy John Boehner, the House majority leader.
	Sarshar says: “Wearing a cell phone or PDA on your belt buckle just doesn’t work.” Yeas & Nays nominates D.C. mayoral candidate Adrian Fenty, who packs not one, but two PDAs wherever he goes.
	Sarshar says: “If your teeth resemble corn kernels, get a whitening system.” Yeas & Nays nominates Rep. Mike Simpson. The Idaho Republican loves his cigarettes, and it shows.
	Sarshar says: “Keep your whole package on the up-and-up by starting a manageable fitness routine.” Yeas & Nays nominates: House Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Ill. We know that Denny’s having a hard enough month as it is (what with Foley-gate and all), but exercise is known improve your waistline as well as your spirits, Denny …

Sarshar says that politicians definitely influenced his list. “Eyebrows are a huge issue for politicians,” he said. “A lot of them don’t take the time to trim. ... And we always thought it was dorky when a lot of these guys on the Hill would walk around with the cell phones on their belts.”

So who’s the best-dressed in Washington? Lobbyists, Sarshar says. “I don’t know what they do, but they’re the best-groomed and they have the best suits and clothes.”

Press, State Department make nice over drinks

Whoever said that government officials and the media don’t get along wasn’t at the Falls Church home of “Meet the Press” producer Betsy Fischer on Sunday night.

Fischer and Dina Powell , assistant secretary for educational and cultural affairs at the State Department, helped host a cocktail party to celebrate the promotion of Pam Stevens to deputy assistant secretary for public affairs at the State Department. Stevens, a veteran of the Reagan and Bush White Houses, is now a key flack for Secretary Condoleezza Rice and Under Secretary Karen Hughes.

Also in the house: “MTP” host Tim Russert, “Hardball” producer Tammy Haddad and legal power couple Joe DiGenova and Victoria Toensing. Fischer said she and Stevens became friends when she began booking for “MTP” and Stevens was booking for CNN’s “Late Edition.” But the relationship was really cemented when “we ended up both having our daughters, Ella and Katie together — same day, same hospital, same doctor, emergency C-sections, two hours apart.”

Where can comics draw the line?

Comics played the role of anti-censorship crusaders Monday at the ACLU’s annual membership conference at the Marriott Wardman Park.

Comedian Greg Proops of “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” fame, discussed self-censorship, recalling a stand-up routine where he included a joke about Arnold Schwarzenegger: “I said, ‘It’s so nice to have a Nazi-loving serial rapist as our governor,’ and this guy stood up and yelled ‘No!’ like you can’t tell the kind of jokes you want at a comedy club.”

Comedian and radio host Maggie Cassella quite tastefully added: “The ex-Nazi soldier Pope Benedict, I made some joke about how he visited Auschwitz, and I asked the crowd, ‘Oh, again?’ And I got a bad reaction. I feel like censorship has shifted from politics to religion.”

Bloomberg could live in a Fenty-run District

We always knew that D.C. was much cooler than New York City. And now, even New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg agrees.

As he stood outside New York City Hall on Monday next to D.C. boy-wonder Adrian Fenty, Bloomberg was asked whether he’d run for president.

“I don’t want to fuel speculation, but I’d be thrilled to be a constituent of the mayor’s,” he said.

It took him nearly 10 minutes to admit that he was just kidding — a long enough delay to declare this a nondenial denial.

If Bloomberg did move to Washington, Mayor-turned-President Bloomberg wouldn’t have a hard time acclimating to Washington life: After all, the Bloomberg party that follows the annual White House Correspondent’s Dinner is still the hippest event in town.

Media Mix

Margaret Spellings is nearing the end of her second year as Secretary of Education. She gave us her media mix last week.

What CD are you listening to?

I just picked up a CD at Starbucks featuring top ’70s music.

What book are you reading?

“Teacher Man” by Frank McCourt.

What’s your favorite show on TV?

“Grey’s Anatomy” (and, of course, “Jeopardy!”)

What’s your favorite Web site?

Daily Candy, HGTV and the Food Network.

What’s the last movie you saw?

“Little Miss Sunshine”

Polit-burro

The College Democrats at the University of Illinois Champaign-Urbana got creative with their party’s logo in promoting their 2006 Bar Crawl.

Andrew White contributed to this page