At the movies, a restless child’s sound effects compete with the fi lm’s. On the plane, the passenger behind you keeps kicking your seat ... while the one beside you talks your ear off. And how about that co-worker, friend or date who repeatedly interrupts your conversation by taking cell phone calls?

Most people bite their tongues. But silent steaming dampens your mood — and risks further indignities from repeat offenders.

So how do you respond without inciting blowback? Consider the advice of P.M. Forni, author of “The Civility Solution: What to Do When People Are Rude.”

- To gain relief from chatterboxes, politely explain, “I need to take a break from our conversation so I can collect my thoughts before my meeting.”

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“You are not doing anything wrong,” Forni says. “You’re just being a good steward of your mental and physical resources.”

- Dealing with surly service: “May I make a suggestion? [The specifi c behavior] makes a customer feel frustrated and sounds unprofessional.”

- Avoiding interruptions: “When you answer calls while we’re together, I feel left hanging and lose concentration. Would you mind waiting to use your phone?”

- Discouraging parents from sending sick children to events: Explain that others will be concerned about illness, so it’s best Junior stays home. “I’ll freeze some cake and they can have their own party when he recovers.”

Forni, a professor and founder of the Civility Initiative at Johns Hopkins University, shares some general principles:

- Don’t personalize rude behavior — it’s probably not about you.

- Respond to the behavior, and not the person. And ask vs. tell. These approaches are less likely to spark defensive rebuffs.

- Treat an offending stranger like an acquaintance having a bad day.

Why are people inconsiderate? Partly, Forni says, because we let them be. All the more reason to speak up instead of put up.

Robin Tierney is a freelancer who writes about health and environment issues. She can be reached at robintierney@gmail.com.