Why are men obsessed with sports? Why would they rather discuss the Cubs’ 100 year losing streak than comment on their girlfriend’s new dress? If you're a man, the answer is easy: “You’re kidding me, right?” Most women don’t find that to be a suitable answer. This week, Dan and Joan are joined by Jessica and Emily of the Examiner’s “Pan and Praise” column, to fashion a proper response.

EMILY: First, I just have to address the “new dress” comment — what woman in her right mind would want to talk about clothing with a man? Who wants to discuss hemlines when looking for a life partner? But I digress.

I’ve dated lots of men who are obsessed with sports, everything from football to NASCAR to scuba diving, and 99 percent of the time it doesn't bother me. In fact, I became a NASCAR fan while dating my last boyfriend, and I would rather watch a UFC fight than anything like “The Hills.”

The only time my man’s sports obsession gets tiresome is when he can rattle off all of Ripken's stats but can't remember my birthday. That's one stat all men would do well to remember.

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DAN: You’re missing the point. Women don’t care about the dress; they care about the attention. The dress is incidental. If it’s not the clothes, it's the hair, the dinner they made, the day they’ve had, whatever. Quid Pro Quo, do you remember his birthday?

It’s great that you were able to share in his interest, even though NASCAR ranks right up there with competitive wallpaper hanging as a sport, but the point is, you were willing to share.

Your boyfriend may be rattling off information about Cal, but clearly you’re not paying attention ... get it? A man talking about sports with his girlfriend is his way of seeking your support and interest.

JOAN: First, Danny, I think your premise that men are obsessed with sports, is a huge generalization. Fortunately, the men I’ve dated have had better things to do with their life than hold the channel changer in one hand and eat nachos with the other. I'm more attracted to intellectual guys who work out at the gym, but don't watch sports too often on TV.

As for football — I would rather do the following activities than attend a game: clean the bathroom, file my bills, or reconcile my bank statement. In other words, I could live happily ever after without observing cleats dig up the earth of a perfectly lovely green field.

When my date, Wayne, asked me why, I answered, “Football is barbaric — it’s like watching gladiators at a coliseum.” I think I noticed the corners of his mouth droop ever so slightly, but it’s best to be honest up front.

WAYNE: Sports on television are an interesting diversion for the male psyche and there is usually more action (but not innuendo) than “Days of Our Lives.” How many of us have our favorite teams and are fans to various degrees?

Think about the Wisconsin “Cheeseheads,” or those TV shots of bare-chested fans in zero degree weather? Lots of guys have played sports at various levels and it defines a lot of what guys do and how we think.

Years later it is a sports trophy in our collection and in our memory, it signified our outstanding accomplishments. We were the best — at something sports related — and therefore, we still are the best and have the trophy to prove it. Most of us are very interested in “our” teams and their success — or lack of it. What do guys talk about at work or with friends? Most probably not about the latest fashions or shoe styles, but that doesn't mean we don’t appreciate the way they make you look and provide a lot of “one-ups-man ship” comments to our friends. You being gorgeous and sexy are a major plus for us.

JESSICA: Wayne, you’re a real smoothie. But back to business.

Men who play sports or truly enjoy watching a play unfold have my respect and sweep me up with their enthusiasm. With those guys, I’ll talk about any sport, any time during a date — especially if they are experts. In fact, the best dates with jocks and sports fanatics are at games cheering over gigantic draft beers.

However, those of the weaker sex who rot for hours every night in front of a computer screen managing their seven fantasy leagues and spend another 24 hours on weekends tied to the TV, basking in the glow of strangers’ successes, are borderline pathetic.

Those types who devote more time to their favorite players’ lives than their own may be better off limiting their pool of potential dates to fellow fantasy league players.

Dan Collins is a terminally single 40-something writer and local PR maven. Joan Allen is a noted matchmaker extraorinaire and author of “Celebrating Single and Getting Love Right: From Stalemate to Soulmate.