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Frantz: Canseco redefines ‘Bash Brother’
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Related Topics: SAN FRANCISCO
SAN FRANCISCO (Map, News) - Former A’s All-Star Jose Canseco gave new meaning to the term “Bash Brother” Saturday night in Atlantic City, because he got bashed, brother. In his never-ending quest to find new ways in which to humiliate himself, the steroid-abuser-turned-whistle-blower turned up in a boxing ring after issuing an open challenge to any former athlete to fight him for $5,000. Unfortunately for Jose, former Philadelphia Eagles return specialist Vai Sikahema is also known as former amateur Golden Gloves boxer Vai Sikahema — and he does not like Jose.
“The guy is a walking corpse,” Sikahema said of the 6-foot-4, 245-pound Canseco, “because he’s rotted inside-out.”
The 45-year-old Sikahema meant what he said, because a mere 97 seconds into round one, Canseco did a spot-on impression of a corpse, after being laid out twice. The first knockdown came after a vicious left-hook from the ferocious Sikahema, who gave up 7 inches in height and roughly 45 pounds to the man billed as “Baseball’s Bad Boy,” and the second was after a dizzying flurry of power punches that ended Canseco’s night early.
While the Canseco-Sikahema fight garnered the most attention on the Jersey shore, the undercard was filled with several other athlete-on-athlete matchups that were designed to settle some old scores between bitter rivals.
» Semi-retired pitcher Roger Clemens was disqualified in the 3rd round of his fight with Brian McNamee when he threw a broken spit bucket at his former trainer. Clemens later explained he thought the bucket was his fist, but ringside officials were not convinced. Curiously, McNamee kept the bucket, which had traces of Clemens’ saliva in it, for evidence.
» Giants pitcher Barry Zito squared off with Peter Magowan with Zito’s $126 million contract on the line. Zito was being pummeled so mercilessly by a motivated Magowan that he grabbed a towel from his corner and threw it into the ring. Magowan promptly swung and hit it into the 81st row.
» Former Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre took on retired New York Giants defensive end Michael Strahan in a bout that was booed mightily by the crowd, when Favre came out at the opening bell and laid down at Strahan’s feet, giving him the win. Favre then immediately retired from boxing, before announcing a comeback fight against Aaron Rodgers, scheduled for next week.
» Tiger Woods stepped in against Phil Mickelson, but the fight was halted when a ringside photographer snapped a photo as Tiger was drawing back his fist. Woods’ enraged cornerman, Stevie Williams, then attacked the entire press row, causing a melee that delayed the next bout by nearly an hour.
» In a handicap match, Barry Bonds stood toe-to-toe with Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams. It was an even fight for two rounds, until Bonds was disqualified for head-butting both of his opponents — at the same time.
» Los Angeles Clippers coach Mike Dunleavy wanted a piece of his former power forward, Elton Brand, and he won a forfeited decision when Brand agreed to the fight, but then changed his mind and went home before arriving at the stadium.
» Canseco’s former teammate Mark McGwire lost a unanimous decision to fellow tainted home run kingpin Sammy Sosa. When asked about the loss mere minutes after the fight, McGwire was evasive, telling reporters, “I’m not here to talk about the past.”
» In one final attempt to settle their long-running feud, Shaquille O’Neal stood in against Kobe Bryant. Bryant used his quickness to dance circles around the overweight O’Neal, peppering him with lefts until the fat man fell, leaving Kobe standing over him smiling through his mouthpiece and taunting, “Tell me how my jab tastes ... Shaq Fu ... tell me how my jab tastes!”
» Following the main event, Canseco stunned the crowd by announcing that he would continue his pursuit of a boxing career and immediately challenged New York Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez to a November brawl, with Madonna sitting ringside as the winner-take-all prize. Asked why he would take on Rodgriguez after such an embarrassing debut against Sikahema, Canseco replied, “Well, I really don’t like getting hit, so Alex should be easy pickings for me, since we all know he can’t hit anything in October.”
Sports personality Bob Frantz is a regular contributor to The Examiner. E-mail him at bfrantz@sfexaminer.com.
Comments from Examiner Readers
11:48 AM MST on Wed., Aug. 13, 2008 re: "Dickey: Bonds towers above naysayers"
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Examiner Reader said:
interesting and stimulating article... I am not sure about the idea Selig doen not want Bonds in baseball...
2 agree | 2 disagree
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examiner reader said:
Bonds is as bogus as Ben Johnson, yet you rant on about him. Besides being pathetic in your unrequited admiration for him you have lost any and all objectivity about him. Barry Bonds, prior to the Mark Mcquire, Sammy Sosa era, was the ultimate five tool player. 6ft 1 inch tall 185 pounds he was without a doubt a first ballot Hall of Famer. Suddenly (in his early thirty's) he grows to 6-2 and 250 pounds. the fact is that you choose to ignore these facts by saying "he never failed a drug test" astounds me. We know that his trainer probably had a reason to stay in jail but i have absolutely no idea what yours is?
3 agree | 2 disagree
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Examiner Reader said:
It's time to move on... bring back the Bulldog! Orel would be a great GM, his ties to LA and the Dodgers runs deep. He's played, coached, worked in the front office of the Texas Rangers... So what are they waiting for. Time to rid the Dodgers of all the people Ned brought to LA, Stan Conte, can pack his bags too! quick before he throws another GM and owner under the bus to save his own skin!!!
2 agree | 2 disagree
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Examiner Reader said:
Frantz = Jim Rome wannabe
2 agree | 3 disagree
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Examiner Reader said:
what the giants need to do is to get her heads out there butt and get some solid bats.
3 agree | 2 disagree
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Examiner Reader said:
Hey Frantz: Barry Bonds isn't responsible for the hi price of gas or 4000+ soldiers killed in Iraq. In comparison, Barry's a saint.
3 agree | 5 disagree
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Examiner Reader said:
Hmmm...the media. Gotta love these hypocrites. Love to judge other people but think the media are a godsent to the masses.BB was an all-star long before the Bash Brothers started using steroids. Don't believe what the media tells you.
3 agree | 2 disagree
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Examiner Reader said:
What do you know about Barry Bonds? It was the media that killed the former Princess Diana. People like you.
3 agree | 2 disagree
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examiner reader said:
what a collection of mutts! the giants are the county pound of baseball!
3 agree | 2 disagree
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Examiner Reader said:
giants are a complete mess.. they dont know how to bring up young tallent and foster it into confident everyday players.. the organization for years has been built on established players.. it is kind of like a person who switches professions and has no clue have to work in the new arena.. the giants. baring a small miricle are in for years of a tough learning curve in terms of bringing up tallent.. but it is sooner better than latter.. hopefully the area of overpriced soso free agents is coming to an end
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Sam in Reno said:
As you point out, the truth will be told if Bowker (who leads the team in HR's) sits against left handers. If he has to play Aurilia put him at third and sit down that slug Castillo. Castillo is a bad fielder and mediocre hitter. There is a reason he was cut by Florida and Pitsburgh.I have never seen so many errors and doubles hit past this guy at third.
4 agree | 3 disagree
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Examiner Reader said:
You have no idea what this man has really accomplished until you pick up a bat and play at a level above little league...how about you just write about the game and leave the personal vendetta's out of it...
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John P Slevin said:
Finally, a writer who admits that coverage of Bonds is based on personality disputes he's had with writers. Sports writers who assail Bonds are far from reaching the level of excellence in their profession that Bonds has reached in his profession. They are supposed to be writing about baseball...not settling scores.
3 agree | 2 disagree
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Alameda said:
Jealous...I know your jealous...cause you have no skills...and Barry has set records...you WISH your little words could have the same power as a SPLAH HOMER...JealousI now your jealous
4 agree | 2 disagree
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Examiner Reader said:
Great observations and pretty basic. I think you'll find that most of us Fans agree with you.
4 agree | 4 disagree
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Examiner Reader said:
This team is old as hell and Bochy and Sabean LOVE IT! Forget about evaluating the rookies, let go after thw NL West title while we're 12 games under .500. We're 7 games backs out of first but in reality we are 2 games out of being in LAST PLACE in the West. HELLO!!!! We're freaking closer to last place than we are to first.
8 agree | 6 disagree
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Examiner Reader said:
they play the old guys because the other guys suck and wont get any better
6 agree | 9 disagree
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Examiner Reader said:
Glenn, do you feel guilty about accepting a paycheck?
6 agree | 9 disagree
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Examiner Reader said:
Come back Barry! All is forgiven.
9 agree | 12 disagree
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Lloyd Christmas said:
Personally I think they gave vizquel and other veterans more playing time in order to try and get some value for them on the trade market. Vizquel is worth more with a swing than with out.
6 agree | 7 disagree
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