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Everyone has tripped over their feet before, but for some reason, no athletes on the planet seem to be as star-crossed as baseball players in sustaining injuries that can only be described as acts of God. From Jeff Kent injuring his wrist while washing his truck to Sammy Sosa’s injury inducing sneezes, it never ceases to amaze us how baseball players make their way onto the disabled list.

In honor of Detroit Tiger Brandon Inge, who forever will be mocked by friends and family for reaggravating an oblique injury when he lifted a pillow for his daughter, we proudly present the Top 5 Greatest Baseball Injuries. Just don’t read too fast, you might pop out an eyeball.

1. John Smoltz burns his chest ironing: The Atlanta Braves flame-thrower apparently couldn’t hit up the dry cleaners to get the wrinkles out of his shirt, so he tried ironing it while he wore it. At least he never tried to climb in the dryer.

2. Nolan Ryan bitten on the hand by a coyote: If only it was infielder Robin Ventura instead of a wild dog, Ryan would have put it in a headlock and given it one of the world’s greatest ass-kickings. Instead, the animal nipped Ryan, forcing him to miss a start and keep renegade third basemen everywhere safe for one more day.

See some of baseball’s best fights.

3. Wade Boggs hurts his back putting on cowboy boots: One of the game’s greatest hitters should stick to Velcro. Boggs attempt at honkey tonk took a turn for the worse when he lost his balance trying to cowboy up, causing him to miss several games.

4. Matt Wise cuts hands on salad tongs: If it was cutting a side of beef and he sliced a hand we would understand. But Wise, a junkball reliever who has made more trips to the DL than Lindsey Lohan to rehab, hurt his finger on tongs during a postgame buffet. Next time, skip the salad.

5. Glenallen Hill falls through a glass table after rolling out of bed during a nightmare in which he was covered in spiders: What could we possibly say to make that more funny?

BONUS! In honor of former Baltimore high school phenoms Joey Dorsey and Donte Greene going to the NBA's Houston Rockets, here is a clip to help them fit in with their new teammates -- clips of Rocket players impersonating Dikembe Mutombo. Even Maryland fans have to acknowledge Sean Battier is hysterical: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3MA9m9_FJQ

WHAT WE LIKED: The Orioles became just the second team to win a series from the Cubs at Wrigley Field all season. Maybe the Orioles could petition Bud Selig to have a few more games played a Wrigley, as the Windy City brought the teams' bats alive. We think even Aubrey Huff is enjoying this road trip for more than the usual reasons. We actually haven't seen a bear beating that bad since: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_VlVckrUgY&feature=related

WHAT WE DON’T LIKE: Crystal Palace playing its U.S. Open Cup game at Broadneck High School in Annapolis. For the past two years, the team has played its home games at UMBC or Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium. But the team couldn't secure a larger venue for the match because of facilities’ scheduling conflicts. Hopefully, fans will pack the facility just like fans of the Harrisburg City Islanders did last year when the team upset D.C. United at Hempfield High School in Lancaster, Pa.

STAR OF THE DAY

Roger Goodell

The NFL Commissioner brought the lumber during a recent question and answer session, slamming teams who give rookies huge contracts before they play a down. In reference to No. 1 draft pick and former Michigan tackle Jake Long’s five-year, $57.75 million contract — $30 million guaranteed — he said: “I think we can identify what it is we need in a negotiation to continue to make the agreement work for the NFL and for the players.”

DONKEY OF THE DAY

MARSHAWN LYNCH

Buffalo Bills running back and sketchy human being will temporarily lose his license and have to pay $150 in fines after police finally tracked him down for leaving the scene of an accident where he hit a woman crossing the street. But then again, we always knew he couldn’t drive: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eyh67zTNFqg

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