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The things I carried

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Jun 23, 2008 12:00 AM (68 days ago) by Erica Jacobs, The Examiner
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WASHINGTON (Map, News) - All week long I have been carrying 23 years worth of high school teaching paraphernalia to the trash, to my car, to my house and to the thrift store. I have carried books and papers, student notes and George Foreman grills, paper plates, cough drops and Post-Its.

Every nook in my large classroom had something that needed to be cleaned up or put away, and there were memories attached to every item — even the soft Kleenex I brought in for students so they didn’t have to blow their noses on school-supplied “sandpaper” tissues.

Tim O’Brien’s modern classic on the Vietnam War, “The Things They Carried,” has the dubious distinction of being the most frequently stolen book in my room; students will borrow a copy and never bring it back. The book is a moving, and highly symbolic, account of the burdens of war. Students identify with the things soldiers carry because they each have their own set of burdens.

The things soldiers carry are heavier, in all respects, than the things teachers carry — but no less symbolic to who we are. Unlike soldiers, we don’t often run the danger of losing our lives, but our identities are taken over by our occupation just as soldiers’ identities are by what they do.

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Deciding what to take and what to leave is no easy task, for a teacher or for anyone else. We take with us what we can’t bear to leave. For me that included the most recent student evaluations of the meaning of my course, as well as this year’s pile of thank you notes.

I took the books I knew I would consult or reread in the future, and gave away the rest. I threw out all quizzes and tests, but kept some college essays — because they were more personal.

I tossed out my daughter’s gag gift of a ceramic jar labeled “Ashes of Problem Students,” but kept Niveen’s gift of a clear glass globe. I left my bust-of-Shakespeare paperweight but carried home the “Book Woman” tapestry that has hung behind my desk for 16 years.   

Some of these treasures will find a home in my George Mason University office but — let’s face it — an office where I will spend several hours a week will never take on the dimensions of a classroom where I spent several hours a day.

Did the process of moving make me sad? Not really. I was sad to leave the students, but that was a few weeks ago — before I left to grade Advanced Placement tests and before they left for graduation. Those students I’d grown attached to were leaving anyway, so I shouldn’t have been sad to see them go. But they were my last high school group, my last Advanced Placement seniors.

Next year when I go off to grade those AP tests, it will, for the first time, be an exercise about someone else’s students — not my own. So I am a bit sad that my personal investment in AP is over.

But the connections I’ve made, with students and subjects, won’t end. I will continue teaching, continue reading, continue writing. That is what I will continue to carry, wherever I am.

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Comments from Examiner Readers

12:02 PM MST on Thu., Aug. 28, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Examiner Reader said:
i didnt write it in my essay but i wrote it in my booklet and wrote an entire convo about it. I wcouldnt find where to put it.

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8:03 PM MST on Tue., Aug. 26, 2008 re: "A footnote to my career"

 Amanda Joy said:
this is awesome :) I am so glad I was a part of it. hahahaaaaa

 1 agree | 0 disagree
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12:34 PM MST on Tue., Aug. 26, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Alyssa Hoff said:
This is so hilarious! I feel like I'm a part of some kind of nation wide phenomenon! I wrote it in my AP World History exam. Got a 3 on it, which isn't that bad for not having studied. THIS IS SPARTA!!

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8:54 AM MST on Thu., Aug. 21, 2008 re: "A footnote to my career"

 Examiner Reader said:
I wrote it on my AP Eng Lang and APUSH exams. It was almost as fun writing it as I assume it was to read it. :) Got 5s on both, too.

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11:47 PM MST on Sun., Aug. 17, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Jessica Sagers said:
YES!! Haha, I wrote this on my AP Bio, Lit and Stats exams (in hilarious and fitting contexts, of course), and got all 5s. :-) It's nice to be formally acknowledged.

 1 agree | 0 disagree
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2:00 PM MST on Thu., Jul. 31, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 AP Tester said:
I wrote in multiple times in the middle of physics equations. GOT A 5!

 2 agree | 2 disagree
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10:55 AM MST on Thu., Jul. 31, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Examiner Reader said:
I'm so delighted to find your article! I had a flickr photo (of my cat) invited to be in a "group"/pool called "This is Sparta!).... but I didn't know the reference. Long live the internet.

 2 agree | 2 disagree
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12:58 PM MST on Sun., Jul. 20, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 dragonboyjgh said:
i plan to do such if i ever take an ap test.

 4 agree | 2 disagree
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11:10 PM MST on Sat., Jul. 19, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Examiner Reader said:
i did it on both the Chem and teh Calc AB and got 1's on both... i doubt i would have gotten higher if i didnt though. i also did a few hand turkeys. proud member of the facebook group as well!

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2:20 PM MST on Sat., Jul. 19, 2008 re: "A footnote to my career"

 AP European History said:
I made a 1. I didn't cross it out. I wrote it in a history test. This explains a lot.

 3 agree | 3 disagree
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9:31 PM MST on Wed., Jul. 16, 2008 re: "A footnote to my career"

 Chelsea Katan said:
We're the laughter generation, and I'm glad we made you enjoy the grading.

3 agree | 2 disagree
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11:03 AM MST on Sat., Jul. 12, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Erica's reply to AP Lit reader below said:
My email is on the bottom of every column so if you want to return to reading question #3, let me know. I look forward to meeting you in person next year, and hope you hang in there. I agree, students tend to fall into formulaic writing for the test, a habit with my own high school students I tried to break--with very limited success. They'd compose interesting timed writings in class, then go into "test" mode and out would pop a 5 paragraph theme. Old habits die hard.

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9:31 PM MST on Thu., Jul. 10, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Examiner Reader said:
Thanks, Erica. I was on question three for the first two years, but switched to question one this past session. I have seen some brilliant responses in the former; however, I still see so much "performance" of literary criticism and formulaic prose that often seems to come straight out of Cliff's notes (but with the way the test is set up, who can blame these students?). At least in question three, a grader can see a) an analysis of a piece of literature that is not by a dead white man (not that *I* don't love dead white men. They play a great and wonderful part in my dissertation. Still, it's refreshing to see that works such as _Beloved_ and _The God of Small Things_ have made the AP "Greatest Hits.") ; and b) A student can really show off his or her ability to critically think about a text. Yet, sadly, these moments are often few and far between for me.

2 agree | 2 disagree
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8:03 AM MST on Thu., Jul. 10, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 AP Test Taker said:
I wouldn't really call it teenager code for "don't tell us what to do" rather, we just thought it was funny, kinda like a boy laughing at a fart.

 13 agree | 3 disagree
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8:03 AM MST on Thu., Jul. 10, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 AP Test Taker said:
I wouldn't really call it teenager code for "don't tell us what to do" rather, we just thought it was funny, kinda like a boy laughing at a fart.

 5 agree | 2 disagree
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5:07 AM MST on Thu., Jul. 10, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Wiki said:
I didn't know about the phenomena until we were let out of the Literature test and I overheard a friend talking about it. I asked my classmates, and about a quarter of them and written it! I took the Gov. test a few weeks later, so I wrote (and crossed out) "This is Sparta!" on my Government essay. It seemed more appropriate there, anyway. Thanks for the 4, by the way. I totally bombed the poetry explication.

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5:41 PM MST on Wed., Jul. 9, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Erica Jacobs to the Reader below: said:
You are the reason I believe in the AP Lit test and come to the reading, year after year! I totally agree with your sympathy with the students, and your disappointment that they don't show more creativity and independence. I hope you are on Q3 next year; email me if you would like me to lobby for you on that question! Q3 is the question I love most, and usually allows students and readers the most latitude. Yours, Erica Jacobs

3 agree | 2 disagree
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4:57 PM MST on Wed., Jul. 9, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Examiner Reader said:
(continued from below) I want to emphasize that I have the fullest respect for the teachers who instruct AP classes. You will never find teachers who are more dedicated to their students. Personally, I blame this corporate-funded, completely outdated, oppressive standardized test that cares more for scores than for real critical thinking. I'm proud of the students and their subversive antics. That, to me, gets a perfect score!

 4 agree | 3 disagree
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4:51 PM MST on Wed., Jul. 9, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Examiner Reader said:
I was an AP Literature reader in this past cycle, and I can confidently say I was delighted to see these students standing up against this oppressive, corporate-funded standardized test. We must look carefully at the reasons why these students invoked this particular scene from the film 300. In this scene, the messenger asks for complete submission to the hegemony and oppression of the massive Persian army. When Leonidas cries out to him, "This is Sparta!" he is speaking up for the particularity of his cultural, political, and geographical space. What often troubles me the most when I'm sitting in that freezing warehouse grading these exams is the eery similarity between the student essays. In a discipline that I feel should emphasize originality, creativity, critical thinking, and independent analysis, I am deeply disturbed by the endless barage of banal five paragraph essays that give me little to no insight into the student as an independent thinker.

4 agree | 3 disagree
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8:12 AM MST on Wed., Jul. 9, 2008 re: "A footnote to my career"

 Examiner Reader said:
I said F the AP exame and turned it in only saying THIS IS SPARTA it was definetly work it hands down cant wait tell next year!

 2 agree | 2 disagree
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6:27 AM MST on Mon., Jul. 7, 2008 re: "Why I love teaching to the test"

 Examiner Reader said:
I don't get "cute" when I write. Convergence and twain. People and situations. Read Thomas Hardy's "Jude The Obscure". Both people and situations change us. For better or worse. Dan.

 2 agree | 6 disagree
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3:44 PM MST on Sat., Jul. 5, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Examiner Reader said:
I took the AP World History Exam this year, and after massively bsing the writing portion I wrote "This is Sparta!" at the end because the test was already a fail in my mind.

 5 agree | 5 disagree
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8:18 AM MST on Thu., Jul. 3, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Examiner Reader said:
To IB Student: I'm guessing you did not take the AP English exam. A free professional hint: use proper capitalization in your e-mail.

 6 agree | 11 disagree
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10:14 AM MST on Wed., Jul. 2, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Erica Jacobs said:
Thanks, Phil!

 3 agree | 4 disagree
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9:13 AM MST on Wed., Jul. 2, 2008 re: "A footnote to my career"

 Phil from NJ said:
Hey. Im the one that added you to wikipedia. Thank you for writing the column about us, it was well worthy of you being a footnote on wikipedia.

 2 agree | 2 disagree
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10:31 AM MST on Tue., Jul. 1, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 IB Student said:
I took most of my AP exams last year as i am in the international baccalaureate program and we mostly take IB test in our senior year (this year for me). on the one exam that did not count for my diploma (economics), i decided to join in on the sparta fun. i didnt cross it out and actually incorporated it into my essay well (as well as some silly diagrams and pictures). im pretty sure they arent supposed to grade irrelevant stuff, only giving points for things the students did correctly and not taking away points for incorrect responses, so i think i might even still do well on it. and to reply to teachers, it was all just a fun thing to lessen all the stress and seriousness attached the these standardized exams that, in the long run, dont actually mean all that much and shouldn't have so much pressure placed within them.

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9:07 PM MST on Sun., Jun. 29, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Examiner Reader said:
we aren't doing it as a political statement, we do it to be funny. the tests are scary to take and putting in funny little pop culture references makes it more tolerable. don't overanalyze us too much, we're here for a good time. :]

 7 agree | 2 disagree
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5:28 AM MST on Sat., Jun. 28, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Erica Jacobs to All AP Students: said:
Thanks to you, not only did the graders get many chuckles throughout the exam week, but we had something to talk about with the U.S. History and French graders, who were in "Nowhere Kentucky" (actually--it was Louisville, a lovely city) at the same time! So we did realize it wasn't just English. Some of my best friends are the test writers for English Lit, and they really do their best to make the exam fair yet still challenging, so don't be too hard on them! I hope you aced all your AP tests, and thank you all for making this by far the most read column I have ever written.

 6 agree | 3 disagree
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11:18 PM MST on Fri., Jun. 27, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 another AP student said:
Mrs. Jacobs, You really hit the mark when you said that our little joke could only go so far because, we of course couldn't lose credit and crossed it out. I personally was hesitant to write it at all, but realized I really could not be marked down, and my mascot being the Spartans, I couldn't help myself. Also, some other graders are letting you know that we put "THIS IS SPARTA" in test such as psychology, and U.S. Government...we put it in all of our tests...even calculus. It was interesting to read your response to our little prank, I must say we half expected/hoped it would annoy you guys, although it is not the graders, but really the test writers that we loath! :)

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4:08 PM MST on Thu., Jun. 26, 2008 re: "The things I carried"

 Erica Jacobs said:
To the last commenter: what a lovely comment--on leaving, on Tim O'Brien, on memories. I look forward to seeing you next year at the reading!

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2:20 PM MST on Thu., Jun. 26, 2008 re: "The things I carried"

 Examiner Reader said:
Having had the privilege of just grading AP literature essays with Mrs.Jacobs in Louisville a couple of weeks ago, I obviously read her last two columns alluding to Harry Potter and "This is Sparta" with much pleasure. Nevertheless, her column on cleaning out her room touched a special nerve as The Things They Carried was a favorite in my Midwestern classroom as well. How O'Brien so deftly reaches out to our students of this Iraqi and Afghan war era is almost uncanny, probably because he is so adept at defining the paradoxes of war and coming of age in every century. A year ahead of Mrs. Jacobs in cleaning out my high school classroom for the college office, I can assure her that if she is like me, those memories she carried will remain textured while the boxes she brought home will hang around to haunt her. Nevertheless, now she can look at the AP exams as an introduction instead of a farewell since they are charting the beginnings of these students' college lives.

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8:50 PM MST on Mon., Jun. 23, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Examiner Reader said:
This has spread beyond AP english exams. Recently while grading the EOC biology prompt the phrase "this is Sparta!" has been noted at least several dozen times. This shows that the prank has spread beyond AP exams and is rampant in other standardized tests as well. SSK in NJ

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7:17 AM MST on Sat., Jun. 21, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Calculus said:
Having graded hundreds of calculus exams in KC, I can report many, many "This is Sparta" lines- none of them crossed out...

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8:37 PM MST on Thu., Jun. 19, 2008 re: "Why don’t teachers talk with parents?"

 Examiner Reader said:
I teach high school and find it difficult to talk with parents. I am finding that parents want me to notify them each time their child doesn't turn in an assignment. Really?! And, when am I supposed to do that? Any given assignment will have 5-40 students who don't turn it in. Am I supposed to call them all? I only get 45 minutes off per day - to plan the next day and get some grading done. I grade when I get home at night until near bedtime at least 3 nights out of the week. When we have parent-teacher conferences, almost no one shows up - and usually only the parents of the "good kids." It is so frustrating to feel like I have to be the child's parents' parent as well. Plus, I honestly can't remember after 5th period who in 1st - 4th didn't turn in something; I'm concentrating on 5th - 7th period classes and what is coming (I teach freshmen in the afternoon). People think that teaching is easy because we get time off in the summer; it is SO much harder than it looks.

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7:53 PM MST on Thu., Jun. 19, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Mike from Jersey said:
I am one of the many students across the nation who are subject to the self-inflicted plague of AP testing. It's a grueling system if done correctly (by both teacher and student) that, in my opinion, can have its rewards. We really do feel powerless beneath the burgeoning anxiety and weight of upcoming AP's. My friends and I took "SPARTA" to heart and really made a group effort to study for the European exam. "SPARTA" gave us a little bit of hope- that we could SAY something back to these strangers who would be judging us- strangers that are just poor folks who would really rather be on vacation in Tahiti than in East-Nowherere, Nebraska systematically grading the stale work of individuals they neither care for or would ever meet. "SPARTA" helped us get prepared for exams. I would really like for there to be an article about the antics that the graders put on (there are some in the comments below). I also want to know where they found a set of Spartan armor in East-Nowhere, Kentucky.

 9 agree | 5 disagree
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2:40 PM MST on Thu., Jun. 19, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Examiner Reader said:
"This is Sparta!" ended up in a lot of U.S. Govt. and Politics essays also. Having graded a whole bunch 'o' those essays, I have to admit it was kind of fun seeing the harmless example of rebellion in essay booklets where the student knew the answers, not so much fun when questions weren't anwwered. I won't automatically criticize the decision to draw a line through the phrase as a cop-out; maybe the message is that the kids have figured out that rebellion should also be practical at times!

 5 agree | 4 disagree
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11:00 PM MST on Wed., Jun. 18, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 a "rebel" said:
The point was not to rebel. The point was to simply have one aspect of our AP week to look forward to. A joke that we knew was widespread and only meant as a way of letting off steam and giving the poor teachers who have to spend a week in nowhere, Kentucky grading thousands of exams something to laugh about.

 13 agree | 4 disagree
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2:53 PM MST on Wed., Jun. 18, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Examiner Reader said:
We finished reading the AP Human Geography exam today. The Spartans were alive and well in Nebraska!

 4 agree | 4 disagree
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4:35 PM MST on Tue., Jun. 17, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Erica Jacobs said:
To Paul: Yes, my word "rebel" was a bit extreme. I really meant that students were making a counter-cultural statement by including something irrelevant in an important test. I did realize it was a joke--hence the lol! For the Psychology reader: thanks for reading the column! I can tell you have the proper AP spirit: we reward the students for what they do well.Keep reading, year after year. The students need you.

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10:06 AM MST on Tue., Jun. 17, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Examiner Reader said:
I just arrived home yesterday from the AP Psychology read in Kansas City where we graded 132000 exams and would love to report to the students that that at least 35000 of those included "This is Sparta" or "This is madness". I would like to give a shout out to one student who actually incorporated it into his/her exam without having to strike through. The question called for a parental resolution of a child's temper tantrum and one extremely crafty student wrote something along the lines of "According to BF Skinner if the Smith- Garcia child is having a temper tantrum screaming 'This is Sparta, this is madness' the parent should take away a favorite toy (negative reinforcement) or punish the child with a time-out so the behavior will be less likely to continue." Good work, young Spartans. You all gave us entertainment for the week. On the last day of the read many came in Spartan armor...

 6 agree | 4 disagree
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3:06 PM MST on Mon., Jun. 16, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Paul Johnson said:
When are adults going to learn that every example of organized behavior by adolescents is not an act of rebellion. This article completely misinterprets what "This Is Sparta" means to teenagers. It is not a statement that can be put into other words. It essentially exists as a joke that can be used in response to someone stating something with the phrase "This is....(followed by an adjective, preferrebly "madness")." The phrase is popular because the movie is so ridiculously absurd. Take one of the most amazing battles from all of history and make a movie out of it using overly epic writing, directing, and acting, then cheese out the cgi as much as possible and you have something that any highschooler will be quoting for a long long time.

 13 agree | 10 disagree
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10:56 AM MST on Mon., Jun. 16, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Dr. Jacobs said:
Thanks for reading the column and have a great four years in college. Keep the "Sparta" spirit alive!

 5 agree | 5 disagree
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10:48 AM MST on Mon., Jun. 16, 2008 re: "This is Sparta! — Facebook prank or political statement?"

 Sarah Lee said:
Hello Dr. Jacobs! I enjoyed reading this column very much. Sadly, I wasn't one of the "rebels" but I'm glad that the Facebook group achieved their primary goal. ;] "This is Sparta!"

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6:16 PM MST on Mon., May. 19, 2008 re: "Erica Jacobs: A Procession of ‘Lasts’"

 Erica Jacobs said:
Thanks, Kati! Yes, I learn from students, too. Those are "my" stolen moments! Thanks for reading the column.

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6:06 PM MST on Mon., May. 19, 2008 re: "Erica Jacobs: A Procession of ‘Lasts’"

 Kati Graves said:
Hello Dr Jacobs! I was browsing through the local news and I saw your name. I forgot you told us about writing for The Examiner. I simply had to comment on this because it makes me smile when I think about all the papers we wrote this last year in 302, and our "stolen moments." And of course I must say I loved reading this. I hope you enjoy teaching full time at GMU, and thank you for a fantastic year!

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6:44 PM MST on Mon., May. 12, 2008 re: "What happens after the test?"

 Examiner Reader said:
Nothing and everything -- sounds fun!

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7:53 PM MST on Sun., May. 11, 2008 re: "Short-order food for thought"

 Erica Jacobs said:
To the last commenter: I can tell you are a teacher, and I am flattered you read my column. Thank you. And start a Typepad web blog! It's quite easy, and very reasonable. Good luck....

 4 agree | 3 disagree
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8:41 PM MST on Sun., Apr. 6, 2008 re: "Teachers R’ Us"

 Examiner Reader said:
I love your column, and I know that if it weren't here you'd never hear from me and I'd never hear from you. I'm happy that you have this column and that I'm able to chime in every once in a while. You're always thoughtful and interesting. You're an inspiration too. I will eventually have a web log... some day. Thanks.

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3:52 PM MST on Sat., Mar. 29, 2008 re: "Where are teachers’ voices?"

 Examiner Reader said:
Now that the internet has made it possible to do things like you suggest, it only seems inevitable that sharing with parents via web-logs, etc. will become more the norm. You set a great example and provide real leadership as a teacher.

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2:55 PM MST on Tue., Mar. 18, 2008 re: "Why don’t teachers talk with parents?"

 Examiner Reader said:
I am a teacher of 28 years and a parent. I would like to think that I am innovative and open-minded about teaching, but I am also outspoken when a teacher is poor, noncreative or simply ineffective. Public schools are not open to change and many suburban and urban schools are simply too big and too short staffed. The middle school and secondary environments are very unwelcoming to parents who would like to be involved. Communication about expectations are nonexistent in many classrooms and the whole notion of being "proactive" is foreign to many despite email and phones. Smaller schools would alleviate many issues and allow us to get to know each other and to nurture relationships and thus deliver education and discipline more effectively.

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