Test your sports knowledge with the ‘Hump Day’ quiz

1) The Chicago Bears released running back Cedric Benson after being charged with his second alcohol-related offense in a little more than a month. Bears general manager Jerry Angelo waived Benson, saying “Cedric displayed a pattern of behavior we will not tolerate.” Other telltale signs Benson was headed in the wrong direction:

A) Before the Bears’ last game, he asked the equipment manager to attach two beer can holders and a curly straw to his helmet.

B) He keeps referring to world-class drunk Kenny Stabler as “my mentor.”

C) In his latest blog, he talked about his lifelong dream of playing with the Cowboys because they only take players with “a lot of character.”

D) When approached by his teammates about a possible alcohol dependency problem, he replied: “If drinking Cristal in the huddle is wrong, I don’t want to be right.”

2. Because Terrell Owens missed a mandatory drug test, he will be placed in the NFL’s “reasonable cause” program and subject to year-round testing. What excuse did Owens give for missing the test?

A) His agent, Drew Rosenhaus, was late sending him a clean urine sample after using his entire stock on his baseball clients.

B) He will continue to skip test until Mrs. Goodell stops “observing” his tests.

C) He and Bill Belichick were discussing the best angles to videotape one of his famous driveway workouts and lost track of time.

D) He was busy trying to come up with a better line than “better get your popcorn ready.”

3. Cincinnati Reds outfielder Ken Griffey Jr. hit home run No. 600 against the host Marlins. The number 600 is significant because:

A) Only 75 people were actually in attendance for the Marlins-Reds game, but 10 years from now, when the Marlins are calling Portland home, at least 600 south Floridians will claim to have been there for the historic event.

B) Griffey’s homer traveled farther than the Ravens’ offense in their 22-16 loss to the Dolphins.

C) It was the same amount — give or take a dollar — that Dan Marino allegedly spent on nose candy before each Dolphins’ home game.

D) He is the first player to reach the 600 home run/600 trips to the disabled list mark.

4. Paul Pierce’s wheelchair-to-riches knee injury in Game 1 of the NBA Finals was the worst acting job since:

A) Shaquille O’Neal starred in “Kazaam.”

B) Keanu Reeves in “Speed.”

C) Sammy Sosa going all Spanglish during his congressional hearing.

D) Steve Trachsel’s portrayal of a legitimate major league pitcher.

5. Former heavyweight champion Evander Holyfield’s 54,000-square-foot estate will be foreclosed and auctioned to the highest bidder on July 1. What he really meant when he said: “Everything is all right with the house right now,” was:

A) “God willing, me, my wife, our two kids and my nine illegitimate children will land on our feet somewhere.”

B) “They have the wrong guy. The bank is looking for ‘Evan Fields’ — the alias I used when buying steroids and human growth hormone from Applied Pharmacy Services. Oops, I’ve said too much.”

C) “I’ve been through a lot in my life. Defeats, George Foreman’s man breasts and getting jobbed in the ‘84 Olympics. Living in a box is just another hurdle.”

D) “I don’t need all of life’s finer things anymore. As long as I have my mental capabilities and one-and-a-half good ears, my life is perfect.”

6. The reason Gilbert Arenas opted out of the last year of his contract with the Washington Wizards was:

A) He decided it was time to take his choking in the playoffs routine to a different city.

B) Management refused to change the name of the Wizard’s home court from Verizon Center to Verizon Arenas.

C) He was sick of teammate Andre Blatche calling him in the wee hours of the morning asking him to post bail.

D) Daniel Snyder offered him a 20-year, $450,000,000 contract he couldn’t refuse.

Tony Giro is a lifelong Baltimore sports fan who blogs on examiner.com for fans. If you subscribe — it’s free — you’ll be e-mailed each time Tony posts a column. He can be reached at timeout@baltimoreexaminer.com.